I got banned from /r/DadJokes for submitting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My teacher asked us to describe our breakfast in one word.

I told her it was surreal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WoNelli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Where are all the dad jokes stored?

At the dadabase.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lord_prads420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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What is Salvador Dali's favorite breakfast food?

Surreal.

EDIT: My coworker demands that I give her credit for this. And she's right

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JMCatron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I was at the museum and saw a painting of a bowl, with milk and some kind of food inside.

It was surreal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameTheTrait
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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As a struggling dry alcoholic, I had a few dreams where I didn't give in to drinking last night

It was surreal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccrosssss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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The queen knighted a sea creature for the very first time.

It was surreal.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJCray8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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How did Salvador Dali start his mornings? ...

With a bowl of surreal..

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nopi66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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What did Salvidor Dali have for breakfast?

A bowl of surreal

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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A guy named Mr. Real gets knighted.

When he told his friends the story that led to his knighting ceremony they all told him that it was unreal.

"No," he corrected them. "It's surreal."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karpish_the_smol
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2017
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The Dictator

So here's the setup: I recently started working for a taxi cab company. It's surprisingly lucrative, and a shitload better than McDonalds.

So I'm working, and I'm parked in front of a bar, hoping that a fare is gonna knock on my window, when about twenty feet or so in front of me, I see a very good friend of mine. I shout, and we spend the next few minutes shooting the breeze. A fare knocks on my window, and I driver her to where she needs to go.

After, I'm driving back to that bar, and I get a call from my friend, asking if I had another fare lined up. I didn't so he told me to come back, he's got a group for me. They get in the car, and these guys start bugging the shit out of me. Which I can handle. What I can't handle is when they start dealing each other cocaine in my back seat. At that point, I'm just livid. I tell them to give me my money and get the fuck out of my car.

Later, I chat my friend up on Facebook. I tell him that I'm super-grateful that he got me a fare, but to please not ever put those particular assholes in my car again. And since our relationship is built on surreal humor and snark, I start expanding the list. Those assholes. Colombian drug lords. Justin Beiber. Kim Jong-Un. Please, no Korean dictators.

"But what about a penis-shaped potato?"

I'll admit, that one threw me for a loop. But I tell him that potatoes are fine, regardless of shape, size, color, or type.

At that point, I could almost hear him laughing as he typed "Excellent. Instead of a dictator, I'll send you with a dick tater."

I was so pissed off I had walked straight into that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoldierOfTruth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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So I had a dream last night about eating breakfast.

It was pretty surreal.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha-Cor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2015
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What was Salvador Dali’s favorite breakfast?

Surreal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JessRabid
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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How did Salvatore Dali start his mornings?

With a bowl of surreal.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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