Statisticians are up to no good

They're always plotting something

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👤︎ u/peterburk
📅︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why did the statistician hesitate to apply the square root transformation to the data on annual hate crimes?

She didn't want bigotry to be normalized.

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📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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Why aren't statisticians particularly funny?

Because the median function usually suffices. No need for its complement, the comedian function.

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👤︎ u/lukaseder
📅︎ Feb 26 2021
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A recent finding by a statistician shows that the average American

Has one breast and one testicle.

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📅︎ Jun 12 2020
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Lawyer, chemist and a statistician goes hunting

Lawyer, chemist and a statistician are out in a forest hunting for deer. After one hour of patiently waiting lawyer finally spots one. The lawyer shoots at a deer and misses half a meter to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses half a meter to the right. Both are furious and dissapointed as they see the deer escape.

Chemist asks statistician - "why you didn't shoot ?"

Statistician replyes - "I didn't need to, we already shot him !".

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👤︎ u/CheeserLP
📅︎ Nov 20 2019
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A statistician stuck his head in an oven and his feet in a refrigerator

But on average the temperature was just fine

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👤︎ u/PhpXp
📅︎ Jun 14 2019
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What is it called when a statistician cheats on his SO?

Fail to reject Ho

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📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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What do you call a rude statistician?

A meanie

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📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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My dad is a famous statistician working for different car companies.

Everyone keeps asking for his auto graph.

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📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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How do statisticians tell if a shirt is hand made

They perform a tee test. To determine if it's normally distributed.

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📅︎ Jun 26 2019
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Did you hear about the messy life story of a statistician...?

...it had a scattered plot

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📅︎ Jun 11 2018
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My statistician wife told me my looks were average.

That's just mean

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👤︎ u/Scoob1978
📅︎ Aug 20 2018
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Two statisticians got into a fight

it was pretty graphic

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📅︎ Jan 25 2017
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Statisticians love large sample sizes.

As they say, the n’s justify the means.

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📅︎ Feb 05 2018
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A physicist, a statistician, and a mathematician go deer hunting together.

They see a deer, so the physicist takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the left. The mathematician takes a shot and misses 3 feet to the right. The statistician puts his gun down, and yells “good job guys! We hit!”. (Technically a joke from my professor, but it felt very fitting here).

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👤︎ u/WavvesDude
📅︎ Nov 11 2018
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Did you hear the one about the statistician?

Probably....

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📅︎ Feb 11 2017
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Why are statisticians so mean?
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👤︎ u/IamSeth
📅︎ Jan 24 2017
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What do you call a horror movie about an evil statistician?

"Margin of Terror"

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👤︎ u/inf0squit0
📅︎ May 13 2017
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What does a statistician DJ do to raise the crowd's spirit?

He drops the Bayes

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👤︎ u/cyberyder
📅︎ Jun 27 2017
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What did the statistician say when he did a magic trick?

Da ta!!!

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👤︎ u/kevinkit
📅︎ Nov 13 2017
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I will never date a statistician.

Because they're mean.

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📅︎ Jun 18 2013
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Three statisticians walk into a bar...

What are the chances of that?

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👤︎ u/cdtoad
📅︎ Aug 19 2017
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The statistician realized that he almost certainly has prostrate issues.

Because his pee value was really small.

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📅︎ Dec 19 2017
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Statisticians don't like cracking mean jokes...

..they always turn out to be average....

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👤︎ u/andrei178
📅︎ Oct 27 2015
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What did the statisticians son call him?

Dada

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📅︎ Dec 08 2013
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