When the Humans arrived, there was no cheering.
Nobody was bothered too.
More meat for the slaughter.
The emblazoned signs on their suits, red, white, blue, green, yellow, orange… none of it mattered to us.
We all knew their fates.
Death is all that awaits…
On Obraxus Prime.
-Chapter 13, Stories of the Second Intragalactic War
I was a private at Military Base Alpha Kilo, serving on Obraxus Prime, fighting with the coalition forces against the combine. I heard we were receiving a transfer from the wrapped up conflict on Obraxus Minor, which thankfully we had won, so no cut off supplies for us.
Now, those transfers were humans. The humans were regarded as rather ordinary, with no particularly impressive abilities aside from their flexibility.
We all knew their fates, dead in a mass grave, sent home to your family in a casket if you’re lucky. These mammals were different though.
The first I noticed was a rather rudimentary aerial vehicle flying over the base. It was emblazoned with 11 flags on each side, all composed of Red, Blue, and White.
I could barely read Terran, but I found a rough translation of the language to basic on the side when it landed.
“US: 505th Screaming Eagles”
“ENG: 2nd South Staffordshire Regiment”
“CAN: 1st Canadian Parachute Division”
“JPN: 409th Volunteer Airborne Group”
“RoC: 678th Sun-Yat-Sen’s Preachers”
“RF: 789th Karelian Droptroops”
“ANZAC: 475th Dropbears”
“FRN: 897th Revolutionaries”
“SCO: 642nd Highlander Drop Group”
“ABS: African Horns Drop Group”
“CEU: 563rd Armor Dropping Division”
I noticed that air was included a lot in that, which was weird since air battle had been phased out in favor of orbital conflict, which raged above and kept me awake every night.
I was soon after deployed to the second front near the planetary capital, New Lexington.
Harsh enemy resistance opened upon us quickly as we soon reached the West River.
One night, when I lied down on the cold beds of a medical tent from a shot to the leg, I heard an infernal screeching. At first I thought it must be one of the new humans being shipped in, but there wasn’t anybody passing through the shut entrances to the tents.
I looked up through the translucent roof into the starry sky above, and saw a great wave of aerial vehicles blotting out the twinkling lights that usually dotted the skies.
“Private Johnson, are we clear for a jump?”
“Na
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
They’re on standbi
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
