Sprite (drink) Puns

Sprite

He is fine it was just a soft drink

Sprite

Or is it just Fanta sea?
Coke in a spiced rum,
No Pepsi nor Snapple tea.
Open you Barq’s, drink up your Slice, then pee!

...He burped 7 up

Whenever we go out, he orders it just in sprite of me...

Got my daughter this morning, she came into my room and asked for a drink. I asked her what she wanted and she said "Sprite! Sprite! Sprite!"

'Well honey, we don't have "Sprite! Sprite! Sprite!", but I could get you a regular Sprite.

She's 3, so this was hilarious to her.

My wife was face timing her parents with the toddler and asked me for a "little sprite to drink".

Not wanting to pass up the opportunity, I filled a demitasse cup and proceeded to hand it to her. Walking away with my subtle triumph I hear my mother in law say "I don't think that's what she asked for," and my father in law telling her it probably was a little sprite.

The rest of my wife's conversation had more mouthed "vacuums" (I presume) then normal.

But it didn't hurt, because it was a soft drink!

Lucky it was a soft drink

We were placing our drink orders:

"I'll have a coke."

"Is Pepsi okay?"

"I don't know, what happened to him?!"

I'm not sure if the joke went over her head, or if she was annoyed from hearing it, but she didn't laugh as much as we did.

A couple weeks ago we went to the oddball comedyfest show and after it was over we took the train back to my house.

Had picked up some drinks on the way back and are waiting in the train station.

My girlfriend said "Oh my god this is so depressing that the show is over!"

I put my Sprite against the wall with some force and held it there and said

"No this is soda pressing"

Groans

Waitress: How would you like your toast?

Dad: Uh.... toasted?

BONUS: DINNER TIME!

Waitress:What would you like for a drink?

Dad: Do you have sprite?

Waitress: Yes we do!

Dad: That's good to know. I'll take a coke.

Sprite

Sprite