What is the organ donation center called in England?
I’m driving through England, and will be staying in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I saw some cows in the field smoking a joint and playing poker.
Absolutely NO smoking in this establishment
Which county in England has just two letters in its name?
England in the 1800s: „God save the Queen!“
Every single colonisable country in colonising range: „God save (me from) the Queen!“
4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.
So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.
You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
A man in Yorkshire, England forgot about his appointment at the sperm bank.
When he finally arrived, the person at the desk told him, “Ejaculate”
Bill Clinton is banned from all the French bakeries in his neighborhood.
He kept feeling their pain.
My boyfriend told me as I walked in “hey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham
In England, they eat two eggs for breakfast..
But in France, one egg is un ouef.
My Honda Civic was banned from the drive-in movies
They say it contains a huge spoiler.
I made that up on the spot and told it to my kid. He told me it's not funny and it's a horrible joke. 😟
Why was it so hard to go to church in England after WWII?
Paddy and his wife are on holiday in England visiting Historical Sites.
"This is where the Magna Carta was signed," said the tour guide, "One the most important documents in English History."
"When was it signed?" asked Paddy.
"1215," said the tour guide.
"OH NO!" said Paddy, "We missed it by 10 minutes!"
Are you smoking weed in this pandemic?
What should you do now that smoking is banned on public trains?
In England, if you pay money to live in a toilet, you can tell people you're a loo tenant
Remember when you could smoke in a bar ?
Now you can't even drink in one !
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?
My friend got fined by the cops when they saw him smoking a joint in a greenhouse.
People in glass houses shouldn’t get stoned.
Smoking weed in an oven...
Is a good way to get baked
The no smoking with a child in the car law is rediculous.
I mean, Look at the poor fella freezing out there.
A Little Town In Mexico And Their Love Of Mayonnaise
There was a little town in Mexico, right across the border from Texas. They got a taste for Mayonnaise from the Cowboys crossing the border to eat. Soon they created a festival for their love of Mayonnaise. They’d have every type of mayonnaise you could think of. Folks loved it. The 10th anniversary of the festival was coming up and they decided they wanted to do something special. They heard of a place in England that made the worlds very best. They placed their order and was told it would be shipped overseas to them by boat. Because they had placed such a large order, the only ship capable of carrying it was the Titanic. The folks were waiting excitedly until the morning that the Titanic had hit a iceberg. When the news came that they wouldn’t get their shipment and to honor those lives lost, they decided to rename their festival. It became known as “Sinko De Mayo.”
Why is there a wolf in the smoke shop?
He's just looking for a pack.
The government started banning alcoholic drinks, so I'm selling liquor in secret.
I saw a woman once that was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She started waving it around and a cop saw it and shot her dead...
She was waving an illegal fire arm.
What is Spider-Man’s name in England?
Did you hear that the guy who got second place in that smoke machine design contest forgot how his prototype worked?
When they asked him about it, he said he didn’t have the foggiest idea.
Those who were firm in their beliefs when China banned marijuana...the people who kept growing and selling.
They are known as the pot stickers.
An unsatisfied chicken lays in bed smoking a cigarette next to an egg that rolls to its side embarrassed
Chicken: Well I guess we solved that riddle
A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.
It's Björk's York Torque Corp.
The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age?
I caught my son smoking pot in the garage, and a few minutes later, my wife walked in.
She caught my son and me smoking pot in the garage.
The guy working at the gas station was smoking a joint when I walked in...
That place has the highest customer service.
BREAKING NEWS: People are now smoking marijuana in record numbers, reaching an all time high.
What do you call an organ donation center in England?
I’m traveling through England and will be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I’m driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
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