Slowly figuring out why I am single
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 11 2021
After being single for years, my best friend said, "Can I set you up?
I said "Go on then!!"
Now I'm doing 12 years for a crime I didn't commit.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Parking a single car doesnβt require much space.
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
π︎ 28
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︎ Jun 24 2021
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Jun 22 2021
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
π︎ 36
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︎ Jun 01 2021
I wish I was single for one day
Being single my whole life is exhausting
π︎ 45
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︎ May 17 2021
Idk I'm too single to understand
π︎ 75
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︎ Mar 30 2021
When I was a single man, I had tons of free time.
Now that I started listening to full albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
π︎ 75
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︎ May 12 2021
You know that it's always the boys raised by single moms that end up with Dad Bods.
They always wanted a father figure.
π︎ 76
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Man... Every single post here is about the Suez Canal...
People must be stuck in it
π︎ 42
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Honey, where are the carrots? I can't find a single one
Maybe try a married one then
π︎ 40
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︎ May 03 2021
How much did a single pyramid stone weigh?
π︎ 8
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︎ May 14 2021
Gonna Start Dressing Like Genghis Khan When I Date Single Mothers.
Gotta show that I'm a good Steppe Father.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 20 2021
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if it had something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
π︎ 79
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Found one of our own
π︎ 3k
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︎ May 07 2021
We threw a house party that ended badly last night, my wife put her best friend in hospital with a single punch.
The worst fruit allergy I've ever seen.
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I hadnβt used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I donβt mean to brag but this is the single greatest post Iβve ever made on reddit.
π︎ 22
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I posted something on here the other day and didnβt get a single upvote
π︎ 3k
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Not a single person.
π︎ 50
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Whatβs the single form of calculus?
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 29 2021
My flatmate and I are single AF so I got her flours for valentines day....
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I met my wife at a singles bar...
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
π︎ 482
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Most of the attractive, single women I meet, are divorced...
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I just read an article about a German stealth division from WWII that never had a single casualty
Guess itβs true what they say, you can not hit what you can Nazi
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Hey what are your plans for Valentine's day? -Us singles be like :
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Single ants can live to be 29 years old. Do you know why?
Because they have little antibodies.
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Remember that Europe only has a single plus.
That's Switzerland. π¨π
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 17 2021
My brother is starting a history degree and one of his modules is studying the Stuarts
My dad asked, "Jackie or Rod?"
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 11 2020
When I was single I had this one night stand
But then I got married and we bought a second night stand.
π︎ 124
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︎ Dec 27 2020
When no one is around, I would loudly describe the process of cutting down a single tree.
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 11 2021
My wife asked me to pick up a single lemon at the grocery store
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
π︎ 138
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︎ Nov 22 2020
How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?
State-of-the-Ark technology
π︎ 30
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Two guys were arrested for stealing a single calendar
They both got six months.
π︎ 21
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︎ Jan 13 2021
A girl approached me today at a restaurant and asked if I was single...
I said YES. And she said "Cool' and took the chair to her table for her boyfriend.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Went to the store yesterday and bought a single cherry and some microphone equipment
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 19 2021
THERE ISN'T A SINGLE PERSON ALIVE TODAY WHO IS
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I found out my crush is single, but she has COVID
Maybe I could be her new taste in men
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 08 2021
The right way of flirting
π︎ 5k
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
π︎ 36
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I go to the store and buy 2 eggs, a loaf of bread, and some milk. The cashier says βyou must be singleβ and I respond with βhow did you know?β
She responded, β because you are ugly!β
π︎ 205
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Heard a mom at the pool make a fantastic dad joke the other day.
This kid had a big float and it was the only float in the pool. He was paddling going around talking to every single person he could reach. One of the moms asked him what his name was, and he replied βNoahβ. The mom then said βwell that makes sense, youβre the only one with the float!β
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︎ Jul 02 2021
Parking a single car doesn't need much space...
But parking 200 cars, now that requires a lot.
π︎ 13
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︎ Apr 21 2021
When I was a single man, I had plenty of free time.
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
π︎ 37
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︎ Dec 10 2020
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