What is Richard Simmons doing in my house?
I didn't in-vitamin.
What do Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley do after an argument?
They KISS and makeup
In honor of J.K. Simmons winning his Oscar for Whiplash...
Nearly all the funniest jokes at Edinburgh Fringe is dad jokes
The winner and the 9 runner ups: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"
- "Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
- "What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
- "A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
- "A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
- "Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
- "I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
- "After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
- "To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
- "I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham
The band Kiss decided to release their own pants clothing line.
It's called Jean Simmons.
Dad joked my dad this morning
Major League Baseball fans will get this one.
We stayed at a hotel last night. This morning my dad was putting on his Craig Kimbrel t-shirt. He looked at me when I was wearing my Andrelton Simmons t-shirt.
Dad: "Sorry SigilOfStark, looks like we're twins today."
Me: "No, Dad. We're Braves."
I got a sensible chuckle from him and a well-deserved groan from my mom.
