My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making Shrek puns
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
My wife said she’d leave me if I kept quoting Shrek and I didn’t believe her
But then I saw her face
My wife asked me if I could sing all the songs from the Shrek soundtrack. I said "No, just some."
"... BODY once told me..."
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed
In what month was Shrek born?
Oct-ogre
(Credit to my 4-y old!)
What's Shrek's favourite item of clothing?
...an ogrecoat
Why couldn’t Shrek leave his swamp?
Because he was under marshal law
Kid: Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
Dad: Somewhere. Ogre there.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's...
Meaty ogre
Shrek and Fiona were just living mediogre lives
What are you most likely to die of while watching all the Shrek movies?
An Ogre dose.
My girlfriend asked me to stop singing the Shrek soundtrack, I thought she was joking
but then I saw her face
Did you know that Shrek is a furry?
Yea, he’s got fur all ogre him
If shrek had a deathcore band, what would that band be named?
sLAYEEEERRRSSS
What's so good about Shrek?
It's just a mediogre movie.
What was the full name of Eddie Murphy's character in Shrek?
Donkey Ho-tay!
Honestly, I found the Shrek musical mediogre at best.
I ate Shrek for dinner last night. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible either...
I guess you could say it was meaty ogre
What should Shrek wear when he gets too smelly?
Deogreant.
I was wondering if Shrek would taste any good
Then I realized he’d probably be meaty ogre
Shrek movies are a lot to take in
They are very ogre whelming .
What shrek keep telling himself to make it through his day at work
It'll all be ogre soon
What did German Shrek say when he was saved from the clutches of the dragon?
Danke!
My son's been begging me to finally watch Shrek with him, so last weekend, I finally caved in...
After it was over, he asked me what I thought.
I looked at him and sighed, "I don't know. Everyone raved about it but to be honest, it really though that it was ogre rated."
What do you call it when Shrek works more than 40 hours a week?
Ogretime.
Has anyone ever read the Gospel of Shrek?
Just open the Bible to Psalm-
BODY ONCE TOLD ME
Shrek 2 was mediogre
