There's a gang going through the shops in our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order.
The Police believe they’re still at large.
A child psychic who was arrested for shoplifting has escaped police custody.
It has been reported that a small medium is at large.
Shoplifting is illegal, but that's whisk I'm willing to take
My idiot friend was caught shoplifting from the bakery yesterday.
He has done stupid things before, but this one really takes the cake.
My son asked me if I've ever been shoplifting.
I'm not that strong but I appreciated the compliment.
Did you hear about the gang that was shoplifting melons?
I heard they’re all convicted felons.
What do you call a shoplifting dinosaur??
If you are shoplifting a grocery store and hear the police, run!
Else you will get years for every bread you take
A man was recently arrested for shoplifting at my local supermarket whisky balanced on the shoulders of two vampires
He was charged with theft on two counts!
Edit - meant whilst not whisky!
Did you hear about the man caught shoplifting kitchen utensils?
He was put in custardy. When asked he stated “it was a whisk worth taking.”
I saw a sign, it said: Let's put a stop to shoplifting TODAY.
"Ok," I thought. "One day shouldn't be too challenging."
I can't believe I'm being arrested for shoplifting.
The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!
Saw a sign that said “Shoplifting can leave a person with a record and impact their life. “
Dad: “That’s only if you shoplift a record. “
He laughed at himself for the next 3 minutes of our lives.
What happened to the shoplifter that stole a calendar?
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says ‘I dare you to shoplift that ham’
Second banana says ‘no way, I’m not doing that!’
First banana says ‘why? You yellow?’
I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but I’m really regretting it.
It just doesn’t seam right.
A shoplifter stole an entire case of red bull from my store
I don’t know how he sleeps at night
I'm going to shoplift from Williams Sonoma. Hope I don't get caught.
It's a whisk I'm willing to take.
Did you hear about the Irish shoplifter?
He was found dead under Sainsbury’s.
Mom told me to pickup the groceries
but I'm not a shoplifter.
My life has been full of priceless moments.
(OC) I have tendancy to take things literally.
I just got out of jail for shoplifting.
My wife and I were arguing about who had the worse job
and as the owner of a pastry store, the shoplifters really took the cake.
Why did the man steal the wig?
Dad jokes a criminal
My dad is a police officer and I was on a ride-along with him. He and his partner arrested a guy for shoplifting. As the perp, whose name is "Unique," is sitting in the back of the car, my dad walks up, looks at me smiling, and says to the suspect "how do you catch a unique criminal? Unique up on em!" He and his partner laughed and high-fived, then just shut the door.
What kind of thief is the strongest?
I picked up that new console my kids've been begging for on my way home from work today.
I put it down before leaving the store, though. Wouldn't want to get into the habit of shoplifting.
At the kitchen utensil section of the grocery store:
Me: I’m thinking of shoplifting.
Her: Are you crazy??
Me: It’s a whisk I’m willing to take.
Overheard from a dressing room...
Woman: "Honey I'm going to run to the bathroom quick, don't go anywhere."
Man in dressing room: "Okay, but don't run. They'll think you're shoplifting!"
Shoplifting from Williams Sonoma is dangerous...
but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
There is a gang of shoplifters going through the city systematically stealing clothes in size order.
Police believe they are still at large.
There's a gang of shoplifters going across town systematically stealing clothes according to size.
Police say they're still at Large
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
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