There's a gang going through the shops in our town, systematically shoplifting clothes in size order.
The Police believe theyβre still at large.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Feb 17 2021
A child psychic who was arrested for shoplifting has escaped police custody.
It has been reported that a small medium is at large.
ποΈ 14
π
οΈ Feb 08 2020
Shoplifting is illegal, but that's whisk I'm willing to take
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ May 25 2019
My idiot friend was caught shoplifting from the bakery yesterday.
He has done stupid things before, but this one really takes the cake.
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Oct 26 2019
My son asked me if I've ever been shoplifting.
I'm not that strong but I appreciated the compliment.
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Sep 04 2019
Did you hear about the gang that was shoplifting melons?
I heard theyβre all convicted felons.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Nov 08 2019
What do you call a shoplifting dinosaur??
A crapithinkhesawrus π
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Oct 04 2019
If you are shoplifting a grocery store and hear the police, run!
Else you will get years for every bread you take
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Aug 28 2019
A man was recently arrested for shoplifting at my local supermarket whisky balanced on the shoulders of two vampires
He was charged with theft on two counts!
Edit - meant whilst not whisky!
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jun 03 2019
Did you hear about the man caught shoplifting kitchen utensils?
He was put in custardy. When asked he stated βit was a whisk worth taking.β
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ May 20 2018
I saw a sign, it said: Let's put a stop to shoplifting TODAY.
"Ok," I thought. "One day shouldn't be too challenging."
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Apr 24 2019
I can't believe I'm being arrested for shoplifting.
The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!
ποΈ 17
π
οΈ Aug 31 2018
Saw a sign that said βShoplifting can leave a person with a record and impact their life. β
Dad: βThatβs only if you shoplift a record. β
He laughed at himself for the next 3 minutes of our lives.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Sep 16 2017
What happened to the shoplifter that stole a calendar?
ποΈ 18
π
οΈ Jan 11 2021
Shoplifters
ποΈ 38
π
οΈ Mar 19 2020
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says βI dare you to shoplift that hamβ
Second banana says βno way, Iβm not doing that!β
First banana says βwhy? You yellow?β
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Jun 28 2020
I shoplifted a sewing machine yesterday but Iβm really regretting it.
It just doesnβt seam right.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Dec 04 2019
A shoplifter stole an entire case of red bull from my store
I donβt know how he sleeps at night
ποΈ 92
π
οΈ Jul 12 2019
I'm going to shoplift from Williams Sonoma. Hope I don't get caught.
It's a whisk I'm willing to take.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Feb 23 2019
Did you hear about the Irish shoplifter?
He was found dead under Sainsburyβs.
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Nov 03 2017
Mom told me to pickup the groceries
but I'm not a shoplifter.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Sep 25 2020
My life has been full of priceless moments.
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Jun 27 2020
(OC) I have tendancy to take things literally.
I just got out of jail for shoplifting.
ποΈ 12
π
οΈ Apr 20 2019
My wife and I were arguing about who had the worse job
and as the owner of a pastry store, the shoplifters really took the cake.
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Jan 01 2020
Why did the man steal the wig?
ποΈ 19
π
οΈ Nov 20 2018
Dad jokes a criminal
My dad is a police officer and I was on a ride-along with him. He and his partner arrested a guy for shoplifting. As the perp, whose name is "Unique," is sitting in the back of the car, my dad walks up, looks at me smiling, and says to the suspect "how do you catch a unique criminal? Unique up on em!" He and his partner laughed and high-fived, then just shut the door.
ποΈ 236
π
οΈ Apr 06 2014
What kind of thief is the strongest?
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Mar 24 2019
I picked up that new console my kids've been begging for on my way home from work today.
I put it down before leaving the store, though. Wouldn't want to get into the habit of shoplifting.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Jun 07 2018
At the kitchen utensil section of the grocery store:
Me: Iβm thinking of shoplifting.
Her: Are you crazy??
Me: Itβs a whisk Iβm willing to take.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jan 13 2018
Overheard from a dressing room...
Woman: "Honey I'm going to run to the bathroom quick, don't go anywhere."
Man in dressing room: "Okay, but don't run. They'll think you're shoplifting!"
ποΈ 31
π
οΈ May 19 2014
Shoplifting from Williams Sonoma is dangerous...
but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Nov 19 2017
There is a gang of shoplifters going through the city systematically stealing clothes in size order.
Police believe they are still at large.
ποΈ 118
π
οΈ Sep 06 2018
There's a gang of shoplifters going across town systematically stealing clothes according to size.
Police say they're still at Large
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Aug 15 2019
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Dec 02 2020
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Dec 02 2020
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Jun 04 2019
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
ποΈ 20
π
οΈ Nov 20 2015
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