24 Hilarious Scotland Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Why is it hard to break into Scotland?

Too many lochs

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👤︎ u/maccer20

📅︎ Feb 01 2021

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What is made of cheese and found in Scotland?

The Loch Ness Muenster.

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👤︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants

📅︎ Dec 28 2020

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I'm here is Scotland and quarantine has me feeling all out of sorts...

And there is nothing worse for a Scot than being off kilter.

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👤︎ u/GrandpaMumbosChair

📅︎ Dec 22 2020

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Thinking of holidaying in the highlands of Scotland?

Think a glen.

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👤︎ u/welshlamb2020

📅︎ Jan 13 2021

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Why is it better to get beer in Ireland than in Scotland?

Because in Ireland they Dublin size!

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👤︎ u/CrazyJT007

📅︎ Jul 20 2020

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Can you name 3 places in Scotland that are also the names of Grand Prix winning racing drivers?

(Lewis) Hamilton
Stirling (Moss)
Ayr Town Centre!!!

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👤︎ u/Stoatwobbler

📅︎ May 18 2020

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Why is Scotland, one of the most secure countries in the world?

They have the biggest Lochs

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👤︎ u/kishenoy

📅︎ Mar 04 2020

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Scotland has made the decision to provide free sanitary products.

I would have predicted a trial period.

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👤︎ u/Blarty97

📅︎ Feb 26 2020

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Did you know Al Capone had a cousin in Scotland?

They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.

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👤︎ u/NeoDashie

📅︎ Dec 28 2019

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Double the punnery in Scotland.

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👤︎ u/Steeev88

📅︎ Jul 13 2019

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I found an hourglass in Scotland.

Now I'm just wondering - where'd my Glasgow?

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👤︎ u/AnalYsis_Mindfuck

📅︎ Oct 19 2019

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I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...

I wonder if he was kilt

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Nov 09 2019

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More daily puns from the Inversnecky Cafe in Aberdeen, Scotland.

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👤︎ u/89Dan

📅︎ May 21 2018

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Found in Edinburgh, Scotland

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👤︎ u/sjakie0109

📅︎ Oct 21 2018

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In 1935, an American went out on a quest to discover the Loch Ness monsters. He found that according to legend, there were at least 10 in existence. Instead of trying Scotland, he believed the US might have these lake monsters. In which state did he begin his quest?

Tennessee

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👤︎ u/TITANofATHENS

📅︎ May 06 2019

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I'm from Scotland so a friend asked me if I'm fully Scottish

I said no I'm just scott-ish

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👤︎ u/CrashBandioof420

📅︎ Mar 24 2018

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I recently bought an accent chair made in Scotland...

I can't understand a single thing it says!

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👤︎ u/radlee

📅︎ Feb 24 2018

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Actually if Scotland votes for independence it won't be so bad

Because the rest of the UK will get away scot-free.

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👤︎ u/jb2386

📅︎ May 07 2017

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I have a tattoo of the Scottish flag on my arm. Step dad is in Scotland.

Step dad texts me this morning

"Hey Paul, they really love you over here in Scotland, they show your tattoo everywhere!"

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👤︎ u/12VFanatic

📅︎ Apr 26 2015

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What do you call a Miaphysite Christian who isn't from Scotland?

A non-Caledonian.

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👤︎ u/ThaneOfMordor

📅︎ Oct 31 2014

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My dad comes out with this cracker while Scotland is facing extreme winds..

Mum: Look at all that debris out there it's crazy

Dad: the police were actually down at the park over there

Mum: really?!

Dad: yeah, it was special branch

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👤︎ u/Broonyin

📅︎ Dec 05 2013

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If Scotland votes YES on its independence referendum...

... then rest of Britain will go away scot-free.

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👤︎ u/CountofAccount

📅︎ Sep 18 2014

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This one might work only in Scotland, perhaps Canada too?

English teacher: Great work. Have a week off.

Pupil: ....

English teacher: choughs quietly

Class: audible groans

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👤︎ u/baashcrndicoot

📅︎ Mar 15 2015

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My coworker tried Haggis in Scotland

Coworker A: "it wasn't awful, but it wasn't great"

Coworker B: "actually, it was Offal"

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👤︎ u/Brostafarian

📅︎ Jun 16 2014

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