Our baby was scooting naked on the bathroom floor, so I said to my wife...
"Honey, do you know what our bathroom and a chocolate bar have in common?"
"Huh?"
"They both may contain traces of nuts!"
I had to laugh at this joke all by myself.
I was watching the new Star Wars with my girlfriend yesterday
It was my second time watching it and only her first, so I had had some time to ponder possible puns to make. So when BB8 was introduced, I put my arm around her, leaned in to her ear, and said "Hey baby, that robot is cool and all, but it's only a BB8. I think you're a BB10."
She sighed, pulled my arm off of her, and scooted a seat away from me.
I think my girlfriend just dad joked me
Me: Scoot over I like my space.
Her: I'm more of a Facebook fan
Go away dad
Dad sits really close to son. Son: Go away. Dad: Towards you is a way, scoots even closer
