My wife and I went out for dinner and ended up with food poisoning. She ate some bad chicken and got salmonella

while I ate some bad salmon and got chickenella.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beezneez86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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If you can get salmonella from chicken...

can you get chickenmonella from salmon?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chriscftb97
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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How do you make sure to not get salmonella when making eggs?

Don't put any salmon in it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexx199
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
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Sam and Ella walked into a bar.

The bar got shut down by the health department.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.

Now I have salmonella.

(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eriknobeats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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They're to die for.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HemperorSean
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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What do you call a fish that’s now a Disney Princess?

Salmonella

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pranavkm96
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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I have a recipe for salmon with mozzarella on top.

I call it salmonella

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayTunez
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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My Dad was very close to a legendary long-con dad joke.

My name is Sam. My younger sister is two and a half years younger than I am. My dad was going to name her Ella so we would be Sam & Ella (Salmonella) but my Mom caught on and named her something else. He was so close!

I wouldn't have been mad at all, such dedication is worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaidTheBear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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I was making some egg benedict...

So as the title says I was making some egg benedict with smoked salmon (for the first time), my dad walked in and saw the mess I had created and said:

"You'll probably catch salmonella after eating that!"

He may be right though, we'll just have to wait and see until tomorrow :/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountVeggie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2015
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I don't really like to handle raw fish

I'm afraid I'll get salmonella

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brenzek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
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Girlfriend delivered this one today

The girlfriend dropped this gem on me while watching Jeopardy:

GF: Did you know that Salmonella swims up your bloodstream?

Me: What? ... No? ...

GF: Yeah, because it's Salmonella.

sigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elboro5000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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Was hit with this one while cooking.

I was handling some raw chicken and my father comes in and says, "I hope you plan on washing your hands before anything else." I sarcastically responded, "No, I love salmonella."

To which he exclaimed, "Sam and Ella? How've they been?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcelluspye
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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Dadjoked my girlfriend today!

So it's my first time posting but I'm a big fan of dadjokes and love to drop them myself, this is the first time one felt original/funny enough to post.

I was in the kitchen while my girlfriend was frying bacon, I tried to sneak over and try to eat a small piece of raw bacon. She stops me, and I complain that I want to try.

She asks me, "Do you want salmonella?" I look at her and say, "I definitely don't want Sam and I don't even know who Ella is" She groaned, it felt like a huge success.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superaverunt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
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What happens when you put Nutella on Salmon?

You get Salmonella.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lostinasense
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khovel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salty904
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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