STD Puns

A list of puns related to "STD"

I got an STD after a one night stand

It was a fun-gal infection

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👤︎ u/DrJBeard
📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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What STD can fishermen never avoid?

Crabs

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👤︎ u/Clinthgr28
📅︎ Jan 13 2021
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What's the only STD Zeus can get?

The thunder clap.

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👤︎ u/Itsabeanburrito
📅︎ Jan 19 2021
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What do you call a reptilian std?

Gator-AIDS

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👤︎ u/Lo0220
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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I just found out my girlfriend gave me an STD

I’m gonorrhea-valuate our relationship

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Aug 01 2019
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What's the most common std in alligators

Gatorades

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👤︎ u/volt_the_turtle
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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A friend of mine got a STD from a one night stand.

You could say that he got screwed over.

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👤︎ u/The-Hallow-One
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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My parrot was diagnosed with STD

Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.

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👤︎ u/_Smaldini_
📅︎ Jun 20 2018
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What does a Tyrannosaurus Rex get when he contracts an STD?

Dino-sores.

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👤︎ u/andyraf
📅︎ Sep 08 2018
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My Spanish-Greek friend asked me if I had ever had a STD

I told him ¡Si, Philis!

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👤︎ u/MakkiChan
📅︎ Jan 06 2019
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Men, we all want a cure for that burning STD pain...

Don't wee?

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Sep 04 2018
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What STD gives you a runny nose?

Sniphilis

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👤︎ u/Jfuzzman
📅︎ Mar 16 2016
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What's the only STD you can catch from your own hand?

The clap.

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👤︎ u/Buglepost
📅︎ Aug 06 2017
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I broke my leg and had to go on Short Term Disability

It really confused me when HR told me it was a STD.

(This actually happened to me. HR emailed my insurance company telling them that I have a STD injury. Now I use the joke all of the time)

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👤︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
📅︎ Mar 08 2021
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Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
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👤︎ u/daugarten
📅︎ Jan 20 2018
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What do you get if you sit under a cow?

A. A pat on the head.

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👤︎ u/maryfountain
📅︎ Aug 17 2019
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Hey ladies, are you looking for a stud?

Well, I got the STD now all I need is u.

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👤︎ u/HeyRustyTrueMemester
📅︎ Jan 15 2017
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My dad came up to me while I was on the computer...

"wash your hands after you're done, there are a ton of viruses on there"

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👤︎ u/xReptarXx
📅︎ Jun 10 2015
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Sort of SO told me that I should swim unprotected with sharks.

I replied with "Idk, I may end up with an STD...a Sharksually Transmitted Disease."

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👤︎ u/thecody17
📅︎ Mar 15 2017
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