I thought I might have to fight for my life, but fortunately it had to "va-moose".
My wife and I are chatting about where to go on vacation.
Wife: You know, I really would love to see Aspen, Colorado. It looks beautiful. Me: Aspen you shall receive. Wife: ... You're a horrible person.
The Blocky Mountains.
(My 9yo son came up with this one.)
My family (Dad, Mom, Borther, and 2x sisters) was driving back to alberta after a trip to B.C, and my dad pulled this one..
Dad: Holy shit a bear!!
Mom: Where?!
Dad: On the side of the road!
Kids: Where?!?
Dad: You don't see it?
Everyone else: No- oh..
we proceed to pass a billboard with a grizzly bear on it while my dad is laughing and doing the classic banging of the hands on the steering wheel
Grandma and I have been learning that the ravens and crows here in the Rocky Mountains are from the family "Corvidae." So, as their babies took flight for the first time today, we decided that the sky is filled with flying "Corvettes." They are adorable.
We got to this rocky enclosure they made for mountain goats, who were all just hanging out on this huge rock face. Right at the top there was this really big goat, looking all majestic with a very fluffy coat.
Girl: Look at that one at the top, he's looking over the rest like some kind of big boss.
Me: Yeah, they call him the Goatfather.
She walked away while I keeled over in laughter.
