I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I fell into the river in Paris.
People said I must be in Seine.
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︎ Jun 21 2021
Lobster Diver Swallowed By Whale
He came out alive at the end with a tale.
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︎ Jun 12 2021
What do you call a whale who rejects deterministic philosophy?
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︎ Jun 04 2021
If you want to weigh a whale you take it to a whale weigh station. So where do you go if you want to weigh a pie?
Somewheeere over the rainbow...
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︎ Mar 30 2021
How do you circumcise a whale?
Send down foreskin divers
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︎ Jun 14 2021
Whale, Happy Father's Day!
A marine mammal research group captured a rather odd porpoise on a recent trip. It appeared to have feet! After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "wouldn't it be humane to have our ship's doctor amputate the feet so that it can live like other porpoises?"
"Not on your life!" exclaimed the doctor. "That would be defeeting the porpoise."
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︎ Jun 18 2021
I asked my marine biologist friend why a whale I saw looked so sad.
She said because it's blue.
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︎ Jun 17 2021
What do you call a bunch of whales that play instruments?
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︎ May 01 2021
My kid asked me if it's true that some species of Whale can grow up to 100 feet?
I said it's when they're really tired after swimming too long, they can use them to walk home instead.
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︎ May 10 2021
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
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︎ Jun 09 2021
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
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︎ Jun 05 2021
The zookeeper was depressed after the zoo got rid of its small whale exhibit.
There was no porpoise in her life anymore.
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︎ Jun 05 2021
What did the whale say after impregnating a woman?
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︎ May 21 2021
Was watching a nature show about whales.
How do the Orcas know how to hunt together?
They must orca-strate it.
Groans from around the room.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
What's the difference between a dishwasher in a sports BBQ and a blue whale?
One cleans the grill, the other gleans the krill.
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︎ May 16 2021
What did the whale say to the sword fish?
You're looking sharp today!
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︎ Apr 14 2021
A man was swallowed by a whale.
He ran all the way upto the back till he was all pooped out.
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︎ Apr 15 2021
A river is just a cloud based streaming service...
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︎ Jun 17 2021
Whale played.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?
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︎ Apr 05 2021
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese
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︎ Apr 27 2021
I like watching videos of whales.
It's for research porpoises.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Why can't most sharks and whales read?
They are not part of a school
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︎ Apr 10 2021
I like to lecture about the Cetacean Species by removing whales and dolphins from the equation.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Where do you weigh whales?
.
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.
.
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At a whale-weigh station.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
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︎ Jun 25 2021
I cant stop chasing white whales
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︎ Apr 09 2021
During lockdown, I managed to connect virtually with a Lion, Giraffe and Rhino all at the same time.
These zoo meetings are really taking off.
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︎ Jun 22 2021
Do you know what it sounds like when a whale cries?
Blubber, blubber, blubber, blubber!
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︎ Mar 03 2021
What did the river-tourist call his mom to say while he was in Africa?
"mom, I can't believe it; I'm in de-nile!"
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︎ May 12 2021
What do you call a lizard that farms whale food?
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︎ Mar 25 2021
I hope he Whale
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Why are fish so easy to weigh
Because they come with there own scales
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︎ May 12 2021
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Why are whales so stressed out?
They're under a lot of pressure down there
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Has this been made yet?
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︎ Jun 01 2021
What do whales carry for protection?
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︎ Feb 03 2021
What is a whale's favorite sport?
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Hard to keep Track of stuff
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︎ Mar 30 2021
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River
I told him thats bat shit in Seine
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︎ Feb 01 2021
I once dreamt of crossing a wide riverβ¦
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...
....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
Whale whale whale, what do we have here?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
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︎ May 04 2021
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
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︎ Mar 02 2021
My son made me a whale figure
It was really whale made!
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What do you call a group of killer whales?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments?
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︎ Feb 12 2021
What do you call a group of whales play instruments?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
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