The Possums. The play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Of course he is going to get a roster spot. He is already a Rasta
It's either pictures of birds or things like these:
"Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He ate pizza way before it was cool!"
"I heard they found that girl Amber who was missing." (There was an Amber alert in MD that day)
"Know what happens when you take "the" out of psychotherapist."
"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."
"Six more weeks of winter isn't so bad when you consider the official first day of spring is seven weeks away."
"At first, I hated the speed bump they put in my front street... But I'm slowly getting over it."
"Why is it impossible for a horse to major in philosophy? You can't put DeCartes before the horse!"
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank gourmet coffee before it was cool."
"Q. How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Fish"
"I was going to take all of my old watches and hook them together to make a belt... But then I realized that would be a waist of time."
"Why all the fuss about the Redskins changing their name.
Just change the mascot to a Potato.
Then it's not only un-offensive but delicious."
"I think the NSA is spying on me. They're leavesdropping in my yard."
During a football talk, I'm a Redskins fan, but died nonetheless.
Me: RG3 is a really stand up guy
Him: He may be a stand up guy, but lately he's been a sit down player.
(For those who don't follow the NFL, he's a Quarterback who got injured again)
My dad and I were talking about how some people find team names like the Chiefs and Redskins offensive. Out of respect for these people, he started referring to KC as the "Kansas City Executives." Took me a minute to get it. Very funny dad.
