What does a private investigator call a short investigation?

A briefcase

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2016
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What would you call Donald Duck if he became a private investigator?

A duck-tective!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikitaSultoo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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What's the difference between a Stalker and a Private Investigator?

The Private Investigator get's paid, and the stalker is pursuing his passion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaskedForGas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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As a private investigator, I'm pursuing a con man by tracing his stream of impoverished victims...

Yes, he left a pauper trail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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If a private investigator is called a private eye, what do you call a pirate investigator?

A privateer.
(It's one to hold on to for September 19th!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NobodyWhatsoever
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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Booty and the Beast
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ochipapo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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What do you call a doctor that does yearly checkups?

A private investigator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomecraigs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I think I might start a company...

It will be part carpentry, part private investigation.

I'll call it, I Saw That

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catatonicpotato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
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The adventures of Max Dad, P.I.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

β€œSo as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

β€œPlease, call me Max”

β€œAlright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

β€œNo that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, β€œI’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyohnny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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