Portugal Puns

A list of puns related to "Portugal"

Did you know they don’t have any ducks in Portugal.

Only Portu-geese.

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👤︎ u/Lemonic_Tutor
📅︎ Mar 23 2018
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Dad jokes about Portugal needed

Hi! I need some dad jokes about Portugal and/or Portuguese things in English. Please share and help. Thanks!

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👤︎ u/Frankiesaintp
📅︎ Jun 29 2019
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What language did the first person in Portugal speak?

Portugoose.

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👤︎ u/cypherdev
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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Do you know what kind of bird originates from Portugal?

Portu-geese.

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👤︎ u/Faoroth
📅︎ Mar 05 2018
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From my father, an American immigrant from Portugal, so read the joke in a Portuguese Accent

"There's about to be a lot of shit happening right now"

"What happened"

"I'm going to the bathroom"

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👤︎ u/NickisHades
📅︎ Jun 30 2018
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What do you call large waterfowl from Portugal?

Portugeese.

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👤︎ u/Clbull
📅︎ Oct 29 2017
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If you ever go to Portugal, you have to watch out for the local wild birds

Yup, it's full of Portugeese.

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👤︎ u/farhantsb
📅︎ Nov 12 2017
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What did Miss Portugal say after a whole day of not getting hurt?

I miss pain.

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👤︎ u/llehsadam
📅︎ Nov 04 2017
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Girlfriend's dad after Costa blocked a shot on net in today's Portugal v USA football match

That Costa them a goal!

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👤︎ u/Siniroth
📅︎ Jun 22 2014
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Why are ants British?

Because they colonize.

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👤︎ u/LaughingHyena12
📅︎ Oct 10 2020
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Made the class laugh with this one

So my English teacher is originally from India and we were talking about Sarees, those India dresses and my teacher says:

"I brought 6 Sarees into Portugal and I feel very sad about the fact that I never seem to find the opportunity to wear them."

And I respond:

"Oh.. I'm Saree to hear that."

Only one of my classmates undestood it off the bat, the others had a slow but explosive reaction.

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👤︎ u/BFF_With_Nick_Cage
📅︎ Apr 17 2016
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Dad on flying

So I was talking to my dad about a friend that was flying to Brazil for the holiday.

Me: Yea, he has to drive up to Montreal, fly to Miami for 2 hours and then catch a 8 hour flight to Brazil.

Dad: You know, thats a BRAZILian miles

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👤︎ u/thatsnotcheese
📅︎ Dec 18 2013
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Watching the World Cup with the family.

We were watching the Germany-Portugal game yesterday. At some point, one of the Germans tries to score but misses.

Sister: "Damn, that was close."

Me: "No, that was Müller, Klose is on the bench."

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👤︎ u/BelgianRockfan
📅︎ Jun 17 2014
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