A Planetary Conversation:
"Hey Venus, you see that planet over there?" - Earth
"Yeah, what about it?" - Venus
"Do you think he likes to watch the sun rise and set like us? He's so far away..." - Earth
"Well Maybe he needs to Neptune in with the rest of us." - Venus
"Did you just make a planet pun...?" - Earth
"Don't Saturn this around on me, I'm hot and flustered all the time" - Venus
"I guess you could say your Mercury's rising...snickers" - Jupiter
"GOD DAMNIT" - Earth
What kind of music do planets listen to?
If the Earth is the third planet from the Sun...
...does that mean that every country is a third-world country?
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
Because he wanted space
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
Did anyone hear what happened to planet Earth last night?
If there were months on an alternative “Planet-B”, would they be named the same?
I sent a circle to college, and it quickly became the smartest object on the planet.
Seriously, it had 360 degrees!
I was walking into the grocery store today and this guy asked if I wanted a pamphlet on saving the planet
How does Nasa organize a party?
What planet is next to Uranus?
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet
Space X has really taken off this past year
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
Its pasteurized before you see it.
I hear they are making a new Star Trek movie about the crew stealing the Enterprise and going to a planet to search for a mythical spoon with tines...
It's Star Trek: The Search for Spork
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
What is the first step in making a solar system?
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was not worth the trip.
Did you know being a minute is the most dangerous job on the planet?
Because every 60 seconds, a minute passes
Did you hear about the uprising at the international space station?
it was a revolution around the whole planet.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
How do you throw a party in space?
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Did you hear about the sheep on Yoda’s planet?
What makes posters and planets similar?
ASTROLOGY.... Because millions of stars and planets have spent billions of years lining themselves up....
....just to let her know, that "she'll meet someone with nice eyes today."
How do you organise a party in space?
Planet.
And when the guests arrive, rocket.
How can you tell that Saturn is the most liked planet in our galaxy?
If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.
Why do British people say they’re “bri’ish”?
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Saving the planet with humour (Just Eat)
How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.
(Yeah. I saturn one of their meetings, so I know)
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
When a planet dies...
...does it get an orbituary?
Where can you read about planets exploding?
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
Do you know what’s smaller than a planet?
How do you organise a party in space
How does nasa organize a party?
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