From my 9yo. How do you tell someone was cutting wood?

You saw-dust. (There were exaggerated winks after. And a elbow to the ribs. It was glorious)

Edit: thanks for the love: My kid asked me if I was gonna share it on Facebook. I don’t use Facebook so I said I’d share it here. He’s practicing his jokes, he said, so he can be a good big brother. He’s got a corny sense of humor and loves a good dad joke.

For the couple of you who think I pimped his joke for Karma, look outward to that speck of light in your dark life. That light is your asshole. Go that way to remove your head from from it.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Dad and I were cleaning the house

My dad and I were cleaning the house to surprise my mom. He was vacuuming the floor. He stops, shuts of the vacuum, looks at me with a straight face and says, "I'm a vacuum pimp because I'm always using the hose."

He then started vacuuming again like nothing happened.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ickthus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
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In honor of Halloween

What did the pimp say to the woman when she asked, "What are you going to wear to the party?"

....

Imma wear WOLF!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koggotd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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