Attila the Hun had a pet snake who refused to eat.

He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.

As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.

Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.

When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,

"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_wild_redditer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I got dad joked by my 3 year old daughter at dinner today: "Hey do you have a bun?" I asked her.

"NO I WANT A WHOLE BUN"

She's well on her way to being the dad I never had

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hicd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a bread joke instead of a cake day joke...

On reflection though, I don’t knead to as it would be seedy, half baked, would get me rolled, wouldn’t involve me using my loaf and would leave me open to all sort of bread based buns...

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a large number of bread rolls moving rhythmically to music.

They were doing it in a-bun-dance.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?

It wanted better buns

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Is a hot dog a sub or a sandwich?

It’s just a hot dog. No bun intended.

Posted at r/jokes but someone told me to post here. Guess I’m officially old.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/treflipallday
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend asked me to feed her anaconda hotdogs while she is out of town. I did, but it wouldn’t touch them. Confused, I called her and asked why

She said: β€œMy anaconda don’t want none unless it has buns, hun”

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm so ready to be a dad

I really want to have a daughter and name her Zelda.

I imagine, as she gets older she will spend all her time writing sick poetry and rhymes in her journal, growing her hair down to her back, not to spite me, but so she can donate it later, and expand her wit by studying improv comedy through highschool.

As she becomes famous, I hope she will invite me to one of her rap battles and put me in the front row. My heart will grow as she takes the stage, but fatherly intuition tells me something is wrong...Zelda is frozen at the microphone.

I see her up on the stage, eyes alight with fright, hair pulled tight into a bun. She and I lock eyes, a moment of silence passes and serenity slowly enters...THIS is the moment we have been waiting for all our lives.

Looking up calmly, I couldn't be more proud as I exclaim, "Rap puns, Zel. Rap puns, Zel! Let down your hair!"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImDyxlesic-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What pastry tried to take over the world?

Attila the Bun

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PHATstuFF21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baker that got electrocuted last week?

He stepped on a bun and the currant went right up his leg

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sticklemac
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach

He has seasame seed buns

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tommymason52
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What number do rabbits call when they have an emergency?

9-bun-bun

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/msboogers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
She got fired from the hot dog stand...

... for putting her hair in a bun.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the KKK member bring to the pot luck?

Hot cross buns.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Houshweeni
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife swiped our debit card on my butt crack.

She said "transaction denied, insufficient buns."

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FletchLives1980
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather was a baker in the army.

He went in all buns glazing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What the thesaurus’s favourite food?

A synonym bun

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Liam______
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The card I got from my father is shaped like a hot dog

"Hot dog, it's your birthday! Let's be Frank, you're probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead - don't be a weenie! Relish every moment of your celebration."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadpenguins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A Plain Bun and a Vanilla cream Bun goes to the cinema

During the sad movie, the Vanilla cream Bun cried while the Plain Bun did not... Why?

  • Cause the Vanilla cream Bun had fillings~

The Vanilla cream Bun went to the cinema again but this time with the Chocolate cream Bun. However, the Chocolate cream Bun cried but not the Vanilla cream Bun... Why?

  • Cause the buns has different fillings~
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/M0oomo00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?

Put it in a man bun!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do bakeries that sell dairy products advertise themselves?

With cheesy buns.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roppis1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

Synonym buns

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
A green-energy bakery just announced their new sun-baked bread.

While it's cooking, the sign reads "suns out, buns out."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsaFrozen2013
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hamburger start working out?

...to get better buns

EDIT: I got called away to do some actual work before I could add this: I credit Dr. Jason Bull for this, from an episode of Bull, reading from the bag that he got a burger in.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pucker_Factor_10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What Do You Call It When A Person Gets Hit By A Hotdog Stand?

A hit and bun.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoTheSpiderboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do the bakers hide during a nuclear war?

In the bun-ker.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Story time!

A baker and his wife had a child. A lovely, healthy boy. Since the wife was mad about history, she wanted to give the boy a name suitable for a man destined for great things. Jokes were made, names proposed, but in the end the decision was made - they named the boy Attila.

Attila showed great potential from an early age - he excelled at sports, grew strong, but his other capabilities were astonishing as well. He learned and went through encyclopedias like a fire through forests. Surely enough, he was bound to become a great man some day.

Apart from being an exceptional young man, he loved animals as well. He was kind and compassionate, equally cherishing all forms of life. Since his parents loved him so much, they bought him all he ever wanted - but he did not ask for much, he was never greedy.

Growing up, he has received many animals as pets - there were cats, dogs, hamsters and even exotic animals - tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, you name it.

Their home became a sort of an animal sanctuary, and Attila took care of all animals with love and passion. But, the family business was starting to suffer when his father the baker got ill.

Being the amazing young man he was, Attila stepped up and started learning secrets of the trade - he started baking like no one else.

But, since he devoted his time to the bakery, the animals were starting to be neglected. He tried feeding them, petting them, but nothing helped.

Slowly, one by one the animals passed away leaving behind only the most resistant ones - the snake and a few spiders.

The spiders were easy to take care of, but the snake wouldn't eat, no matter what. Saddened, Attila came to his mother and asked for advice as he was all out of ideas. Of course, being the caring mother she always was, she passed on her knowledge to Attila:

"This anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, Hun."

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeviantClam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Baking Cheater

I once entered a baking contest, but am ashamed to admit I cheated. I entered the contest multiple times because I really wanted to win, but no bun in ten did.

Sorry if this is a repost, thought of it today.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Green_Dreamin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Augustus Caesar tells Attila that the latter can't send missionaries unless they also come with fresh bread.

We don't want nuns unless you've got buns, Hun!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Son got his mom over dinner preparation

Tonight at dinner, she looked at our 13 year old and said "We should make buns for Thanksgiving"

He paused for just a second, then responded "So, that would be mother-son bunding time?"

She sighed.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
🚨︎ report
If you want to ride in my 1967 Honda S800, you gotta have some bread

cuz my antique honda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uroshnor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
What pastry wanted to rule the world?

Attila the Bun

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScratPacc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad what do you want on your burger?

A bun...

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonewalled89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

Because he has sesame seed buns.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheekycamo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the hamburger go to the gym?

To get bigger buns

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The lady at the hot dog stand got fired the other day.

Because she put her hair in a bun.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

a synonym-bun

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patrickleddin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report
My Grandfather was a baker in the Army

He went in all buns glazing

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Martys_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandad was a baker in the army

He went in all buns glazing

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sweaty_Bollocks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.