I'd like to buy an owl.
You buy it from the cat-alogue
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
"What's the best breed for horses like those you'd see in the old west movies," he asks the owner, "my mares are just like that." The owner thinks for a minute, then replies "Dachshund."
The man is surprised, and replies "are you sure about that? I was picturing something bigger that wouldn't get trampled on." The owner nods, and says "Yup, it's just like the movies - if you want your horses to behave, you get a long little doggie."
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
so I asked if that was a free bee. He replied, "No, that's called a baker's dozen. If you spent less time reading reposts on Reddit, you would know that."
"I'm looking for an inexpensive pet and I heard your birds are going cheep"
I said, “That’s .....completely pointless.”
She closed due to terrier-able sales.
And asks the proprietor if she could recommend a bird cage. The shopkeeper replies that she has both plastic and metal varieties.
“Well what kind of metal is used in the metal one?” he asks?
“I’m not sure. Aluminum, I think,” she responds.
“Do you happen to know if it contains any nickel?”
“No, I don’t believe it does,” she answers, looking puzzled.
“Ah,” says the man. “So what you’re saying is that it’s a nickel-less cage.”
"No thanks, just looking around."
After he just bought 12 bees, the pet owner gave him 13 bees. The man asked the pet owner why he was given an extra bee. The pet owner answered,”The last one’s a free bee.”
...”That one is a freebie!”
So a guy decides he wants to buy the world's most unique pet. He goes to the pet store.
He looks at a cat and a dog. Not unique enough.
He looks at a hamster and a guinea pig. Please.
The pet store guy shows him a porpoise in a tank. He says "what's unique about that" and the pet store guy says "this one will live forever".
So he buys two.
He takes them home and puts them in his bathtub.
He feeds them. He tries feeding them fish, shrimp, waffles, everything. They won't eat anything.
So he goes back to the pet store, and says "they won't eat anything I give them" and the pet store guy says "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, the only thing they will eat is mynah birds."
He says "mynah birds. Really?" and the pet store guy says "yep".
So he buys a couple mynah birds and takes them home.
When he gets home, there's a lion sleeping on his front step. Yes, a lion.
He thinks, that's a little strange, but I've got these mynahs and I've got to feed my pets. So he steps over the sleeping lion and takes the mynahs inside.
Just then, a cop jumps out of the bushes and arrests him.
He says "come on! What's the charge"
And the cop says
"transporting mynahs across a sedate lion for immortal porpoises"
I can get a real cheap one off the web.
You’ve got to be kitten me.
I guess you could say she Scandinavian.
"No," replied the owner, "all of our kittens go meow."
I was cheated though; they gave me one, not two.
Canaries are going cheep!
The clerk asked, How can I help you? The fella says, "I like to buy a dog please." "Sure thing, what kind of demeanor are you looking for?" the clerk asks. The guy replies, "Well, I want a guard dog, so demeanor the better."
'Nah' I replied,'they all taste the same to me'
So there was a stand in the store showing off young homeless puppies, which needed to be bought. I walked over and pet one of the dogs. My dad, watching from over my shoulder, grabbed my wrist and said, "Come on Charlie, you just ate!" And all the stay at home moms and 6 year old girls just stood in amazement at me and my dad. I jolted out of the store, (dad following) and we drove home. (We already had all we needed) I just laughed, looked at him and said "I love you dad"
I told him I'll get him one off the web
I said, “That’s completely pointless.”
I said, “That’s completely pointless.”
I told him, “That’s pointless.”
No perches necessary.
