Bears must really like Hip-Hop.
but I didn’t enjoy the nature of the work.
His passenger had no arms.
We were sightseeing at Yellowstone and we asked a ranger for some recommendations on where to go.
"There's this really cool tall cliff called Poison Cliff nearby. You wanna know why it was given that name?"
...."because one drop will kill ya!"
The highlight of our time at Yellowstone.
The park ranger sees this and walks ups notices it is not all that hurt. he instructs the man to take the Javelina to the zoo. A week passes by and the ranger sees the man again and notices the Javelina is with him all dressed up in a hat and bow tie. He asks the man where is he taking the Javelina? The man replies, "Well, we had so much fun at the zoo. Now we are going to Disneyland.
Two naturalists spent the bulk of their lives studying bears in the Soviet Union. One was from Czechoslovakia and the other from Poland. When the USSR fell in December 1991 they were both old men, but they were excited about the prospect of finally getting the chance to study grizzlies in America. That following Spring they made arrangements to travel to Yellowstone to finally see the grizzlies.
When they arrived and informed the park rangers of their plan the rangers were alarmed, telling the scientists, "You can't go now. It's mating season, and the bears are very aggressive." But the former Soviets were insistent. "Please," they said, "We must go. We've waited our whole lives. We may never get another chance." Realizing the men couldn't be dissuaded, the rangers gave them a radio with instructions to report in with their location every day. The scientists set out, and for several days they reported dutifully that all was well.
On the third day, though, they failed to report in. Anxiously, the rangers sent out a search party to the scientists' last known location.
Unfortunately, the rangers discovered a bloody mess when they found the men's camp, and the tracks of two bears, a male and a female, leading off into the woods.
The rangers followed the tracks until suddenly they came upon the female grizzly, her muzzle still crimson with blood. They shot her and conducted an autopsy on the spot, sadly finding the remains of the Polish scientist inside her stomach.
"You know what this means, don't you?" said one ranger to the other. "Yes," the other replied, "The Czech is in the male."
An intern from the University of Prague was studying the breeding habits of Burmese pythons in the Everglades. Park Rangers were notified when he didn't report in at the end of the day. They managed to capture the pair he was studying.
The necropsy on the female python only found a fawn, several rodents, and a couple of turtle.
When they cut open her mate it was a different story. Sure enough, the Czech was in the male.
Once upon a time, when I was a wee lad, still in Boy Scouts, I went on a camping trip to Montana with my troop. It was going to be a great time, enjoying the cool weather and scenic views of the evergreen forests. However, we did have one issue: Montana is pretty notorious for having lots of bears. We weren't scared though, since our park ranger guide told us that bears can be scared off by making lots of noise, like yelling or hitting sticks on trees. Anyway, me and one of my friends, we'll call him Frank, were out exploring in the woods. We were doing what we were told to scare off the bears, but we were still a little antsy.
After a while, we got hungry, so we decided to sit down and eat our packed lunch. We found a nice log to sit on and rest our feet, and we put down our packs and started to sit. But then, Frank let out the BIGGEST scream I've ever heard! Then, he took off running, fast as a cheetah. I thought, "Uh, oh! Frank must've seen a bear!", so I took off after him. Frank was running so fast, we must have run for miles at breakneck speed. Eventually, he started to tire, and as I got closer, I saw why Frank screamed and started running. He had sat on a bear trap, and it was stuck fast to his rear end! We had a good laugh about it, but the bear trap really did leave its mark.
It's been a long time since that happened, and Frank hasn't run in while, but I like to tell this story because it explains why Frank's only half-fast now.
(If you don't get the joke, say the last sentence out loud)
Bears must really like Hip-Hop.
