Paranoia at the library
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
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I asked the librarian if books about paranoia were available.

She looked up and whispered, "They're right behind you".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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To all people who suffer from paranoia...

Remember you are not alone!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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What do you call a trian with extreme paranoia?

Off the rails

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bippidybopboop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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I called the paranoia hotline.

A guy answered β€œHow the hell did you get this number?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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I had to quit my job as a bus driver due to paranoia

Everyone was talking behind my back

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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Like a demonic possession, this joke took a hold of me this morning and would not let go. I'm sorry.

The CIA had changed its recruiting practices, what with all the recent leaks and other problems. So Mr. Johnson was more than a little surprised to see a pine tree, which was dressed in a rather nice suit, waiting outside his office when he arrived at 9 am. He asked his secretary, "Gladys, who is this?"

"Mr. Johnson, this is Mr. Cone, our newest hire. He wanted to talk with you about the Honduras assignment."

Mr. Johnson spoke to Mr. Cone in his office. His new pine tree colleague was very knowledgeable and well-spoken, but there was something about him that threw Mr. Johnson off. He tried to dismiss his concerns as imaginary, but it gnawed at him all through the morning. He barely touched his lunch, as some of the things Mr. Cone had said were still swirling around and around in his mind. He was sure something was wrong, so he went in to see the head of their office branch, Mr. Smith.

"Johnson! Come right in, come right in," said Mr. Smith, puffing on a cigar. Mr. Johnson poured himself a tumbler of whiskey and sipped at it nervously.

"You're being rather quiet today, Johnson. Tell me, what's troubling you?"

"It's just this new guy, Mr. Cone," Mr. Johnson said carefully, staring at the bottom of his whiskey glass. "Are we sure we know him as well as we think we do?"

Mr. Smith took only a small puff from his cigar before letting his hand rest back on his desk. "Now really, Johnson," he sighed, "you're a good agent. Your caution has served you well in the past, but paranoia doesn't look so good on you. Mr. Cone has the most impressive resumΓ© I've seen come across my desk in the last fifteen years. I've personally had him vetted by the best men in the business. He's going to be an asset to this office."

That was the response Mr. Johnson had been afraid of getting, but he continued to press his cause. "I understand that, sir. It's just that I'm getting the strangest feeling from this Cone fellow. Don't you think he's a little too perfect? A little too well-qualified?"

Mr. Smith stopped smoking his cigar altogether. A distant look came into his eyes as he mulled over the possibilities. "You don't suppose--"

"Yes," said Mr. Johnson, "I think he's a plant."

Note: I'm a mom, not a dad, but I'm pretty sure I only thought of this because my father-in-law tortures me with these kinds of stories almost constantly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Larny-Arny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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So I asked the librarian where were the books on paranoia?

"Right behind you." She whispered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia.

She said "They're right behind you!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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I asked the librarian if books on paranoia were available.

She look up and whispered, β€œThey’re right behind you.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateKid84Fan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I asked the librarian if there were any books about paranoia in the library

She whispered , "They're right behind you..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you..."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia

She looked up and quietly replied, β€œthey’re right behind you.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BumbledTheBees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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I went to the library for a book about paranoia!

The librarian said "It's right behind you!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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A woman walks into a library and asks: "Do you have any books about paranoia?"

Librarian: "They're right behind you!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Woman walks into a library and says have you any books about paranoia?

Librarian says their behind you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/colepatrick1111
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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