Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...

For I have synonymed.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Padres of the Caribbean

Dad and I are leaving Home Depot and cross paths with a gentleman carrying some 2x4s over his shoulder through the crosswalk. He stops the car and turns to me with, "Looks like he's... walking the plank." Dad literally cant drive the car because he's doubled over the steering wheel crying. All I can do is meet the stares of fellow shoppers with the deadpan face of one who has just been dad-joked. I will become him one day.

πŸ‘︎ 169
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColdSoup74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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The San Diego Padres
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Susocio
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
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Crossing the street with my padre

We get to the crosswalk and the signal says "Wait."

My dad says 215 pounds and walks across.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
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"Son, what're you drinking" "Soy milk"

"Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romben1
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs and he’s floating in your pool?

Bob.

(It’s padre’s birthday and he just dug that one out of the depths of his memory...)

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QueenDip
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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My father was born in Mexico and played baseball in San Diego...

He was a good Padre

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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How do Mexicans play basketball?

Juan on Juan

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerbobber5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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What do you call it when you make Spanish fathers race each other?

Padre-cing

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wowthechicken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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In Mexico, it's not called Father's Day...

It's Day of the Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redcarnelian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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Dadjoked at a Chinese restaurant.

Me: Reading food labels "Soy sauce."

Dad: "Hola sauce. Soy Padre."

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aliftt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
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Daughter gave me a taste of my own jokes tonight.

We are driving home from softball practice i was telling her about christian betancourt, the padres catcher who is going to be used as a pitcher. He will be the first guy in many many years to pitch and catch on the same team.

She looks at me straight faced and asks.....wait so you're saying hes going to pitch and catch at the same time?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/succaneers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
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Soybeans..

Hola, beans! Soy te padre!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SurprisedPotato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2016
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un r/padrejoke

(( padre is Spanish for Dad ))

my supervisor calls a coworker over

my coworker replies with "voy" (( voy translates to I'm going ))

I peek my head out the cubicle and say "no, girl."

...

my coworker doesn't like me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adriantwinkie
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
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I asked my son what was in his cup he was drinking from

He said, "Soy milk!"

I responded, "Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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intresting title

Dad: Son what are u drinking

Son: soy milk:

Dad: hola milk soy tu padre

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoseySkopes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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I asked my son what was in his cup he was drinking from

He said, "Soy milk!"

I responded, "Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Dad: What are you drinking?

Son: Soy milk.

Dad: Hola milk, soy es tu padre.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t0fu4snacc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Dad asked "Son, what are you drinking?

Son: Soy Milk

Hola Milk. Soy Padre

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onewarmmomma
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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I asked my son what was in his cup he was drinking from

He said, "Soy milk!"

I responded, "Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hxnhxn24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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What are you drinking, son?

Soy milk.

Hola Milk, soy Padre.

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jezmck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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Dad: Hey son, what are you drinking?

Son: Soy milk. Why? Dad: Hola Milk, soy est tΓΊ Padre!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarGarnet03
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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"What have you got there son?"

Son: soy milk

Dad: hola milk, soy tu padre

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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Father: Hey son what are you drinking?

Son: Soy-milk

Father: Hola milk, soy tu padre

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2wings
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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Milk

Son walks up to his dad. Son:Hey dad I need some milk Dad: What kind of milk? Son: You know i'm lactose intolerant, soy milk. Dad: Hola milk, soy tu padre.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TableHockey31313
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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Hey there son, whatcha got there?

>Hey there son, whatcha got there?

Soy milk.

>Hola milk, soy tu padre.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hgbleackley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2014
🚨︎ report
For the Spanish Speakers

"What'r you drinking?"

"Soy milk."

"Hola milk, yo soy padre."

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JarHeadVet
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2014
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whaddya got there, son

dad: whaddya got there, son

son: soy milk

dad: hola milk, soy tu padre

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pietimestwo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
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What're you drinking son?

"Soy milk."

"Hola milk. Soy es tu padre.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdancingalpaca
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2015
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