Why do you never ask a chemist to make a PB & J?

Lead poisoning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toastycheeks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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What happens when you try to print a PB&J?

Jam in tray 1.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rabidmilkman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!

Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:

Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice

I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know πŸ˜‚ Help me out if you can think of any more!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?

Miss Lead!

..Y'know, because Lead is Pb on the periodic table..? All of my friends (okay fine, all one of my friends) just stared at me when I told him.. Thought you folks might appreciate it a little more...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pthelynese
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
πŸ‘︎ 337
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Discount_Dracula
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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Dad and Son Team

Dinner guest: So last night I was watching a PBS documentary on Mars.

Father and Son simultaneously: Wow! How did you get back? (fist bump)

πŸ‘︎ 641
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tallpapab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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My dad the magician...

Growing up I ate a lot of sandwiches. Without fail, every time I asked my father to make one for me this was the exchange...

Me: "Dad, can you make me a sandwich"?

Dad: "POOF! You're a sandwich."

It was maddening, especially when I was jonesing for a PB&J.

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CTV49
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
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I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Achillez34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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Thank You Olds, Alberta.

My girlfriend showed me a photo of severe weather in a town north of us and asked "have you seen the photo from Olds yet?"

"Saw it yesterday! That's old news"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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