Oxhide ingot Puns

He was known as the rich king Garas, and when his subjects looked at him, they knew that he knew a thing about his treasury. He cared little for the fine things in life other than to see the shipments of copper and tin ingots arrive to port. The rich king Garas had even named the vessel himself to Uluburun and to himself he once ordered four fine bronze swords and fifty lances. A parade was held for each and every time the vessel arrived to unpack its cargo and throughout the city Garas went to deposit a certain clipping from the oxhide ingots depending on the skill and size of the smith. To the most prestigious of artisans, one could see at times entire ingots be handed over to be used for trinkets and jewellery. Such was the time of rich king Garas. His second ship was named Asmagáth meaning a jewel. This ship would however become the downfall of the king and his childless line for the ship supposedly was driven away from shore and sank in a storm unlike any other. To this rich king Garas went insane for his riches had been stolen by the depths of the ocean and he cursed Neffa his patron god. Garas went to the ocean and spat in it and threw three lances far out into its depths screaming as he ripped up his kolpos drumming his chest “curse thee who steals my ship, curse thee who steal my treasure, patron goddess no more for the seas and winds are no friends of mine!”

Neffa, the goddess of trade and winds, looked down upon the king who hurled the lances into the ocean and grew upset. She whispered to a lesser deity known simply as Amath about the assault on her domain. The two waited for the greedy king to search for his treasure and the winds caught hold of Garas sails driving him far out in the ocean with his men holding to whatever wasn’t loose. Ripped apart by the winds in several pieces the sails were. And there Amath cast her curse so that the creatures of the sea were to pull down Garas to her domain for judgement.

The crew who survived this ordeal mentioned little else than the screams and cries of their king as he was dragged down by known and unknown beasts into the dark depths. But from a seer it was told through the crackling whispers of burnt fishbones that the goddesses of the underworld known as Nebram and Nebt acted as judges and jury to the transgression of Garas. And surely their decision has played part in the fall of the

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

I have lost count of the number of possible actors that may have buried treasure or used Oak Island for some purpose. Why Oak Island? (1). It's an island in a protected bay that makes it defensible from the land and protected from heavy seas. (2). It's two islands, prior to the swamp being filled in, may have made it possible to make a dry dock for barnacle removal or ship building and maintenance. (3). Strategically located near the mouth of the St. Lawrence and the inland waterways of the Great Lakes area. Ideally located for a warehousing port for river vessel to ocean going ship transfer. (4). Easily found sailing along the east coast of North America.

I reference some articles below that show that it is more than a theory that the amounts of ancient copper that were removed from the Lake Superior area were transported to Old World Europe. It's been estimated that it would have taken 10,000 men 1000 years to extract and ship that amount of copper.

Perhaps the island was used as a provisioning port or for shipbuilding and repair by whatever ancient society was responsible for the mining and shipping of copper to Europe during the Bronze age.

Perhaps the Templars found in the ancient libraries of Jerusalem the location of this ancient port and arrived there as a destination as opposed to a chance place to bury their treasures. It isn't beyond belief that the Templars would have taken their excavation materials and filled in the port and covered the roadway to keep their treasure hidden. This scenario also helps to explain the slipway built in Smith's cove. Centuries after the Templars left the English built the slipway for their use in supplying the materials for the pine tar kiln.

The existence of the stone roadway and the amount of work required to build it suggests that it was made for some other purpose than moving treasure.

Dig Deeper

Michigan Copper in the Mediterranean - Graham Hancock Official Website

The Shipping of Michigan Copper across the Atlantic in the Bronze Age (Isle Royale and Keweenaw Peninsula, c. 2400BC-1200 BC)Summary

Recent scientific literature has come to the conclusion that the major source of the copper that swept through the European Bronze Age after 2500 BC is unknown. However, these studies claim that the 10 tons of copper oxhide ingots recovered from the late Bronze Age (1300 BC) Uluburun shipwreck off the coast of Turkey was “extraordinarily pure” (more than 99.5% pure),

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

[Removed]

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap