Oscar Rabin Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Over the course of the last couple months, this subreddit has hosted the What if the NBA's Hall of Fame were as restrictive as the MLB's? series, which was graciously run by u/PNWSwag and recently reached its official conclusion. Ultimately, we "inducted" a grand total of 36 retired players as a community in order to match the approximate 1% induction rate that the National Baseball Hall of Fame has.

As we were in the process of voting on this, I came up with the idea of doing something similar for players from before the existence of the NBA. Of course, it can't realistically be done the same way as how we handled this for the NBA, because the number of people who can even come vaguely close to reliably comparing the quality of the CBL's Johnstown Johnnies' top players to those of the HRL's Troy Trojans is remarkably close to zero. The number of people in the world aware that those two teams even existed and were among the best in the world during their day isn't that much higher. So democracy has to be scrapped this time, sorry guys.

So I had to figure out a way to do this without letting my own bias – whether it be from the aesthetics of how someone played, conflating their impact on the game with how good they actually were, finding one player's life story more interesting than another, or just being amused by the existence of a guy named Yummy Armpriester – infiltrate my results. That meant becoming best friends with Excel for a little while until I worked out my methodology.

I'm not willing to release how exactly I came to my results, I spent a lot of time working on quite a few formulas and frankly it would just clutter up this post and bore y'all, but the gist of it is that I found ways to quantify impact and counterbalance the various ways the game changed over time in order to come up with MVPs and All-NBAesque teams for each season between 1898-99 and 1948-49. If I get enough interest in the comments of this, I might release those in full soon too.

I'm only including players within major professional leagues as defined by the Pro Basketball Encyclopedia, plus the New York Renaissance, Washington Bears, Harlem Globe Trotters/Globetrotters, and the barnstorming years of the prime New York Original Celtics. AAU teams are not included in my analysis because they are not str

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

It was about a weak back.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.