They really missed out on a great opportunity by calling them defibrillators
Should've called them heartbrakers
Happy New Year fellow dad jokesters! For 2021, I’m going to turn all of my problems into opportunities.
Starting with my severe drinking opportunity
I recently turned down an opportunity to open a Dominos Pizza store, because I thought it was too risky.
If one store goes down, they will all go down.
With great potential come great opportunities
I apologise if this isn't allowed.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
I drew the number 8 and called it opportunity.
I turned it on its side, now it’s endless opportunity.
Eye wouldn’t miss the opportunity eye-there
Starbucks is missing out on a huge business opportunity by NOT selling masks that you can drink through.
They could call them coughy filters.
One of my friends made a mini-computer. Saw my opportunity and took it :)
Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA
Should see it as an opportunity
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.
Son: Where are you in the photo?
Dad: That's me in the corner.
On a post about a washed up whale. This person SEAS the opportunity and they take it!
He really jumped on that opportunity
Johnson&Johnson just announced that M&M will be the spokesman for their new Covid vaccine commercial...
Cuz you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
There was a fog machine on sale, but I didn't have enough cash.
It was a mist opportunity.
I’d like the opportunity for all of us to see the next day. #stayathome
Whoever decided to called them Dentures....
....really missed an opportunity to call them Substitooths.
Whoever named pirate's telescopes spyglasses really missed an opportunity.
They should have been called "Ayeglasses."
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
Don’t know how they missed the opportunity
Rare pun opportunity, I think I nailed it
We will find you one day, space cowboy <3 We will not lose the Opportunity...
This quarantine has provided me the perfect opportunity to start a yacht making company in my attic...
Sails are through the roof!
God gave me an opportunity
God said he's giving me an opportunity to pass along to the new world but i missed the train.
My moms putting curtains up. Perfect pun opportunity.
Mom: “Matthew! Can you grab the screws please?”
Me: “Oh screw this.”
Mom: “Can you grab some nails?”
Me: “Yup.” Sees the curtains up “Oh wow you’re really nailing it.”
Mom: “The drills on the counter. Would you mind...”
Me: “Don’t worry. I know the drill by now.”
The NBA played it's first game in France yesterday. I decided to use that opportunity to make a ton of French puns.
roto.life/nba-paris-game-…
Someone with the last name Hindsight missed an opportunity to run for president.
Hindsight is 2020 though.
Two many opportunities for punning here.
“Chelsea’s Pizza” I said, reading a sign as we walked. My son replied “Did you say Elsa’s Pizza?” Realizing the opportunity I said “No, but what kind of pizza would they serve at Elsa’s Pizza?
“Frozen pizza” said my son, rolling his eyes.
“Exactly, my son. Frozen pizza.”
My pet frog broke his leg this morning...
Is it just me or did Kleenex miss a huge opportunity to say “Sneeze This Moment”?
Really!? That was a golden opportunity!
Watching the new season of The Chef Show on the Netflix, and in the Hog Island episode, John asks why cheese industry is so big there, and someone replies “it’s a beautiful place for dairy, it also it’s just a big dairy area”.
You mean.................................. a dairy-ah?
I’ll see myself out.
He saw the opportunity and took it
My friends sometime ask me why I yell at them all the time over instant message about this amazing new business opportunity I’m involved in that I’m really excited about! They also ask me if maybe if shift key on my keyboard is broken.
But I reply “NO I AM A CAPITALIST”
I had the opportunity for a potassium pun so I just rolled with it
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths".
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