Why is Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street so angry all the time?
Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
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︎ Jan 26 2022
Just found out that the Oscars is a big lie....
Those people they invite to their ceremonies, are all paid actors.
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︎ Jan 26 2022
Oscar Winning fish?
Leonardo DiCarprio
Skate Winslet
Jack Sticklebackson
Dame Judi Tench
Hit me with your best shot?
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︎ Jul 23 2021
What four social media platforms does Oscar the Grouch use?
Wastebook, Binstagram, Scrapchat and Litter!
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︎ Oct 16 2021
The Oscars im Hollywood is fakedβ¦
They are all paid actors.
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︎ Oct 03 2021
Did you hear about the Pokemon Trainer who got an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony?
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Iβm not surprised Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, its an offally good film
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︎ Jul 19 2020
I just found out The Oscars arenβt real
The audience is full of paid actors.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Can anyone explain why last nightβs Oscars were only a minute and a half?
I didnβt watch but heard something on the news about the 92nd Oscars ceremony last night.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
If you win a Oscar Mayer weinermobile your are the
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︎ Nov 03 2020
The Oscar winner for Best Picture is a Bong hit.
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︎ Feb 10 2020
What should be the 2017 Oscars La la Land - Moonlight controversy renamed as?
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Did you guys hear they're making the Oscars significantly shorter this year?
It's the 90 second Academy Awards.
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︎ Feb 09 2020
An Oscar Wilde card contender.
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︎ Feb 22 2019
Have you heard about Honeyland, the Oscar-nominated documentary about Macedonian beekeepers?
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︎ Jan 13 2020
Congratulations to director Domee Shee and her Pixar crew for winning Best Animated Short at the Oscars!
Well deserved. Take a Bao.
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︎ Mar 05 2019
Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar?
He was outstanding in his field.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
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︎ Mar 05 2018
In honor of J.K. Simmons winning his Oscar for Whiplash...
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︎ Feb 23 2015
Jeff Dunham is going to host the Oscars this year
Itβll be the Acadummy Awards
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︎ Feb 20 2019
Every time I make a poop joke, Oscar Wilde rolls in his grave.
I should probably stop pooping there.
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︎ Nov 26 2018
The Oscar Meier Weiner mobile was pulled over by the police.
charge: driving erotically
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︎ Feb 23 2019
Monet never liked his cat Oscar
Because Oscar Claude Monet
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︎ Dec 19 2018
Watching the Oscars, I said this to my wife.
That was nice of Ellen to bring out those pizzas. I've always thought she was very Degeneres.
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︎ Mar 03 2014
Jordan Peele just won an Oscar?
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︎ Mar 05 2018
Watching the Oscars...
Jimmy Kimmel: "Let me introduce a former Pro Wrestler who is now one of the highest paid actors in America... The Rock"
Girlfriend: "Oh I love The Rock! Who doesn't love the Rock?!"
Me: "The Scissors..."
Girlfriend: -_- "I hate you."
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︎ Feb 27 2017
Did you know a silent film won an Oscar this year?
It was quiet the accomplishment.
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︎ Apr 06 2017
Friend at the pub says: if they ever make a film on Oscar Pistorius, it shouldn't be called 'Bladerunner', it should be called....
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︎ Sep 10 2014
Dad joked myself tonight (Oscars spoilers)
I'm watching the Oscars tonight, and after seeing Leo's performance, my mom said he had a 40s look to him, and I said "that's probably why he played such a Great Gatsby"
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︎ Feb 29 2016
Have you heard that Oscar Pistores has been cleared of murder charges?
Apparently the case had no legs to stand on...
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︎ Sep 12 2014
Got my wife and in-laws during the Oscars, twice.
During Gagas performance: Mother in law says "look at those hanging oscars, they look dead!". I bust out "oh you mean the Oscarcases?".
During the next performance she says: "there are oscars literally everywhere, even all over the floor!" Naturally I mention "you mean the Oscarpet?"
Groans for days
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︎ Feb 24 2015
Watching the Oscar Pistorius trial on tv with my dad.
Dad looks at me and says,
"He doesn't have a leg to stand on."
Looks back at the tv.
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︎ Mar 17 2014
The Oscars are fake.
They are all paid actors.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar?
He was out standing in his field.
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︎ Jul 08 2019
Why did the scarecrow win an Oscar?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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︎ Nov 20 2018
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