What did the US Constitution say to the 8th Amendment?
Why did the Koala immigrate to the United States?
Because he wanted the right to bear arms.
How much does the entire United States cost?
Nothing, because it's a free country
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
What do you call a bee that is from the United States
Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?
...cause those hips don’t lie
According to the second amendment, I have the right to bear arms
Now what do I do about the rest of the animal?
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
Between the First Amendment's freedom of assembly and the Eighth Amendment's no cruel and unusual punishment, the US Constitution is basically saying "some assembly required, battery not included."
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
The United States Postal Service got jokes
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland
Did you ever hear about the police unit that had a drug duck instead of a dog?
It was excellent at detecting quack
How warm are the blankets in the neonatal unit?
We need to add three more states to the United States of America
53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.
I went to a supermarket in the United Arab Emirates, but all the shelves were empty.
There was literally nothing Dubai.
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?
What is the smartest state in America?
Alabama. It has four A’s and one B.
Watt is the unit of power?
Here is present the vampire state building.
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
The United States is a cancer.
Its birthday is July 4th.
What pan is the best to make sushi in?
What do you call a detective dog's party held in the United Arab Emirates?
I said to my wife, "I need to call the doctor today." Concerned, she asked, "Which doctor?"
"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.
The clandestine copying and distribution of literature banned by the state can be proven simply by comparing copies side by side.
Because that bit there is samizdat bit there
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.
The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?
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