A conversation I had on a dating app. For context, her instagram is mainly pictures of chairs and her name rhymes with chair.
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︎ Jun 23 2021
My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Benedict Cumberbatch got tired of all the jokes on his name and changed it to Benedict Batch
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︎ Jan 26 2021
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
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︎ May 06 2020
What last name belongs to a man who is annoying and inherited a lot of money?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
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︎ Oct 19 2020
A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked βWhat makes you say thatβ?
He replied βRudolph the red knows rain dearβ.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What's the difference between the President of Russia and a slice of cheese?
The president of Russia is no good for Putin on the Ritz.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
Heβs now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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︎ Jun 04 2019
What is the name of Russia's most famous pop star of all time?
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︎ Jun 29 2018
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
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︎ Dec 06 2020
What was the name of the Egyptian that was buried with chocolate and nuts?
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︎ Apr 14 2020
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
I was just asked about the name of the song written by Ida Corr and Fedde Le Grand
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Had to remove a load of German names and stuff from my pre-owned iPhone..
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︎ Aug 11 2020
While driving down in a part of town we don't usually visit, my 12yo son noticed and mentioned a barber shop named Roman Palace.
I told him they only do Caesar cuts.
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︎ Sep 16 2020
My son said he knew all the dinosaur species and he named all of them.
I said " oh yeah, you forgot the Theasaurus "
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Help Coming up with A Punny Name
Iβm trying to think of my DJ name and I want to have a pun in. Itβd be cool if its a pun off a celeb name, something like Vinyl Ritchie.
Any ideas??
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︎ Jul 02 2021
Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.
Thatβs my signature move.
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︎ May 17 2020
Help: Spent my whole shower trying to think of comic book-based puns for toiletries. Best I could do was Conditioner Gordon and a 2 in 1 shampoo named Harvey Dent.
Maybe a No More Tears version called Daredevil? I donβt know. A sleeping mask called the Dark Night? Deadpoop toilet paper? Iβm drowning here, man.
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︎ Feb 17 2020
[pun request] can anyone think of a pun relating to giannis antetokounmpo and rabbits/bunnies? Trying to come up with a pet name
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︎ Aug 19 2019
Sand is a combination of the words sea and land, as it is where they meet. You could say it is their ship name.
Courtesy of my friend who took more than the average amount of antidepressants
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︎ May 25 2018
Wuntu is the name of the app and can be read as "want to"
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︎ Nov 26 2019
If the family that popularized gull-winged doors had a baby girl, and they wanted to name her in honor of Star Wars...
She could be Amanda Mandalorian DeLorean
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︎ Feb 09 2020
Nickname Puns
Ok so, I've been looking high and low for a list of punny- wordplay like nicknames. All I can find are
Jakey-Snakey
Andrew-my-mandrew
or names that just have '-enator' added to them?
If anyone has some fun nicknames please share!
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︎ Jun 28 2021
A group of friends are heading through Louisville and a debate ensues as to how to pronounce the name of the city.
One says it's Lewis-Ville. The next one says the locals say Lew-ville and the last one says they say Lewie-ville. After arguing for a few minutes they see a place to get some lunch. They all agree it would be great to hear how the locals pronounce the name of their city. They all go up to the counter and one says, could you tell me where we are and please say it slowly. BURR-GURR-KIIING!!!
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Working on a crossword puzzle. Can anyone tell me the first initial and last name of the lead actor from Cast Away?
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︎ Mar 01 2020
I need pun-related help, please
My girlfriend and I have a dog named Moose. My girlfriendβs father has been coming up with name-related puns recently and Iβm being outdone. Reddit, please help. So far, he has come up with:
Moosical
Moosident
All I have:
Moosing persons
I must win this battle of puns.
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︎ May 19 2021
Archimedes was sat around thinking of names for the fluid expulsion tube in the human body. Suddenly, he knew the perfect name, stood up, and shouted-
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︎ Feb 26 2020
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling βI stepped on a Bee!β
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Iβm looking for punny popsicle names. Iβd like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. Iβm particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
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︎ Jul 18 2019
Alright....time for a classic. The Ceo of Datsun was talking to his other high ranking workers when it had just been founded and said, you have 2 days to come up with a name for our company
The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON
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︎ Oct 24 2019
Heard a mom at the pool make a fantastic dad joke the other day.
This kid had a big float and it was the only float in the pool. He was paddling going around talking to every single person he could reach. One of the moms asked him what his name was, and he replied βNoahβ. The mom then said βwell that makes sense, youβre the only one with the float!β
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︎ Jul 02 2021
Back in the 90s, i spent time on the set of Baywatch messing with a character named Mitch Buchannon. I got pulled off the set and arrested the same night.
Turns out it's illegal to Hasslehoff.
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︎ Dec 20 2019
My ex can't take care of her hen so she gave it to me and asked me to name it
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︎ Apr 07 2016
I was asked to give the first initial and last name of my favorite philosopher
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︎ Feb 06 2017
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...
"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."
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︎ Oct 01 2019
A firefighter had two sons he named one of them Jose and the other Hose B
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︎ Nov 20 2019
A couple has two sons...
One named Amal and the other named Juan. But being young and not financially stable, they give them up for adoption. Years later, the mother gets in contact with the family that had adopted the boys. The adopted father pulls out a picture of Juan, and his the mother cries he's so grown up and handsome. "But what about my other son, don't you have a picture of him?" She asks.
The father smiles, shrugs and tells her, "Oh but they're twins,if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
[On mobile. Also my dad used to tell me this joke, and it's been a long time since I heard so I may have messed up.]
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︎ Jun 12 2021
A writer on The Good Place submitted the following list of restaurant name puns with the script for her episode. It includes gems like "Squab Goals" and "Pie Another Day."
twitter.com/meganamram/stβ¦
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︎ Sep 09 2018
Did you hear about the collection of related network web resources identified with a common domain name that has nothing but quotes and their authors?
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︎ Nov 22 2019
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
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︎ Apr 02 2020
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name...
I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize! Why would anyone pick on you?!"
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︎ Jan 07 2018
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