It's totally hopless
Thyme kept on sipping...sipping..sipping..into the future..
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "give me a drink jackass" so the bartender pours him a drink and gives it to him. A few minutes later the guy says "hey jackass give me another drink" The bartender without a word just pours the guy another drink. They guy sitting to left the of the man says to the bartender "just curious, how do you let a guy come in and talk to you like that" The bartender replies "aww-hee-haw hee-halways calls me that!"
European History.
H/t Mr Miller from 1982. This was how he started class.
http://i.imgur.com/wj3wczz.jpg
ME: Hi we’re the Millers and we’ll be your customers today.
The following story is true.
Perhaps you have heard of The Noid. He was a character created by Domino's Pizza to act as a villain who would attempt to make your pizza taste crappy due to lack of freshness. Thankfully, according to Domino's, The Noid could easily be foiled by their 30 minute delivery guarantee.
On January 30, 1989, a man by the name of Kenneth Lamar Noid took the creation of the little guy as a personal attack on his character. Not one to take such a slight lying down, Mr. Noid took a Domino's location in Atlanta hostage, forcing them to make a special pizza and salad against their will. His demands included $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of the hit science fiction novel, "The Widow's Son".
Eventually, Mr. Noid surrendered to the police. After the incident, when reached for comment about Mr. Noid, Police Chief Reed Miller was quoted as saying, "He's paranoid."
Thank you for your time.
Being a father of my own, I'm still envious of the masterful skill in which my dad can come up with his material. While driving down the interstate, a Miller Lite truck pulls out in front of us, more quickly than he should. My dad swerved to the left to avoid my door from getting broad sided by a tractor trailer. I yelled from being startled.
Me: He almost hit us!
Dad: We're fine. I can handle this.
Me: He almost totaled the car! What if he had hit us? I could be dead!
Dad: Nah, you would've been fine. It was Lite beer.
Me: (jaw dropped in awe and amazement)
We were in the kitchen talking about musicians who served in World War 2 and Glenn Miller was brought up and how he served in the airforce. She finished her point by saying:
Mom:"A lot of musicians in that era volunteered to serve over seas."
Me:"Yea you'd think Glenn Miller would have wanted to stay at home but I guess he was in the mood."
She threw a piece of bread at me and banished me from the kitchen.
