Methane Puns

The boss was tired of his gaslighting bullshit

It got it from Uranus

He's got a real Devil-make-air attitude.

Methane

However, methane is also silent but deadly.

So my dad got us pretty good in a family text conversation.

So my little brother sends us a picture of a bunch of juice he has made and put in jars in his fridge.

LB: Going on a juice diet for the next 30 days, gotta loose 50 lbs in 2017!

Dad: I cooked beans and ham soup. I'm on a expelling air diet.

Dad: I've lost 5psi in 2days!

Dad: I'm thinking about getting a methane generator and going off the grid.

Me: 🙄

My sister is on a road trip from Utah to Texas. She has been periodically updating us with her location.

Sister 1: Raton, New Mexico
Dad: That's a big rat.
Sister 1: Dalhart, Texas
Dad: Woohoo... How's it going?
Sister 1: Great. Everything is flat and smells like cows, but I don't see any cows.
Dad: Those are the iBoTs (invisible Bovines of Texas), they wander around making methane and distributing it free of charge. And the landscape is that way because of the flat-ulence.
Sister 2: Oh my gosh dad stop
Me: He can't. There is an honor code among dads. We must joke whenever the opportunity presents itself. It's our respunsibility.
Dad: I'm so proud.
Me: Hi so proud, I'm dad.