Merlot blanc Puns

Are they going to bring me the most expensive one they've got? Or a mid tier?

On Day 2 of Wine Advent Calendar 2021. Spoiler alert!!!

It’s Merlot. Wasn’t impressed, but then again it’s a $4 half bottle. Will use the rest of it for my bolognese sauce.

Day 1 was a Chardonnay that I did enjoy, and I don’t typically enjoy Chardonnays.

What are other’s thoughts?

Me: fairly knowledgeable wine drinker and studier, but mostly in this endeavor for the fun of opening up a new bottle every day.

Hey, I’m looking for a highly structured merlot. Looking for a bottle with notes of earth, mud, minerality, strong tannins (possibly silky but noticeable). Any price. I’m based out of Southern California.

88’ Cheval Blanc is an example.

EDIT: I think we have some Merlot fans in this sub

To preface this, I would just like to say I am an absolute amateur. I had my first bottle of wine (Pinot Noir) when I was 21 and primarily stuck to Pinot Noir and Cabernet Sauvignon since. Lately I've wanted to expand a bit and figure out what suits my tastes best. In addition, I've been making my own fruit wines and meads for a few years now, and I figure learning what I do and do not like in a wine may help me improve in that regard.

If I say anything just blatantly stupid below, I apologize in advance: again, I am an amateur looking to expand my view on wine. I have never once written a review before now.

I'll start with a list of what I've purchased this month, then get into what I've drank so far with a bit of review attached. Again, any feedback on how to improve with notes would be greatly appreciated, and any recommendations for future wines even more so! I'll break down the purchases as well as the source.

Bright Cellars (Figured I may as well try it out)

• 2020 La Cueca Carmenere Dancing Juice

• 2020 Nihilist Wine Co. Malbec

• 2020 Obscura Pinot Noir

• 2018 Crypsis Petite Syrah

• 2018 Worst Evils Grenache

Wine.com

• 2018 Chateau Laribotte Sauternes

• 2017 Adriano Marco e Vittorio Barbaresco Basarin (Nebbiolo)

• 2013 Il Molino di Grace Chianti Classico Gran Selezione Il Margone

• 2018 Louis Guntrum Rheinhessen Dry Riesling

Canals Bottle Stop

• 2016 Domaine Huet Vouvray Moelleux Le Haut-Lieu

• 2015 Tenuta Caparzo Brunello di Montalcino 50th Anniversary (Sangiovese)

• 2014 Condado de Haza Ribera del Duero Crianza

• Blandy's - Madiera Bual 5 year

• 2015 Caparzo - Brunello di Montalcino

• 2012 Chateau Musar - 'Musar Jeune' Blanc, Bekaa Valley

• 2009 Cypres De Climens - Sauternes

• Graham's - Tawny Port 20 year old

• Graham’s - Six Grapes Reserve Port

• Savory & James - Amontillado

• Williams and Humbret - Dry Sack Sherry Medium Dry

Grocery Store Purchases

• 2018 and 2019 Cooper & Thief Red Wine Blend

• 2019 Apothic Merlott (I know, I'm sorry)

• 2017 Marques de Caceres Rioja Crianza

• 2019 Luigi Bosca Malbec

• 2016 Campo Viejo Rioja Reserva

• 2017 Faustino Crianza

• Beringer Bros. Barrel Aged Bourbon Red Blend

• Buck Shack Zinfandel

Now for what I've actually drank and some notes. If you're still with me at this point, I apologize for the length of this post.

• 2019 Louis Guntrum Dry Riesling

This bottle for me runs into the same issue I have with most dry whites. High acidity that doesn't really feel

https://preview.redd.it/bd5glrrcna481.jpg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11f583292357588319e9dd151bd1fb86bce371fb

ABV: 50%

Chill filtered: No

Colored: No

Age: NAS, but several 2013 were given on the site, so I'm guessing 7 years is the oldest, since it was bottled 2020. 3-7 years?

Cask: USA Bourbon barrels, Spain Sherry butts, France Sauternes (Semillon, Sauvignon Blanc) hogshead, France Rivesaltes (Muscat) hogsheads, France Pomerol (Merlot, Cabernet Franc) hogsheads, French Oak hogsheads, France Pauillac (Cabernet Sauvignon, Franc, Merlot) hogshead. I did the math and well over half were ex-Bourbon

Color: Gold(en)

Nose: Pleasantly briny, fruitiness (white grape, lemon, pear, raspberry? pastries), lactic acid funk, floral, minerality, something sour. With water, more citrus and a tea-like quality

Palate: Green apples, spiciness, oak, winey, tannic. Someone in another review said they got "baby puke/vomit" and oh, God. I DID the first time I added water to it, which is a major downside. Still, there's savoriness and apple juice

Finish: Citric

Final Thoughts: If doing laundry by the beach were a whisky, this would be it. Some say the packaging is marketing bs, but honestly? I rather like it. Reminds me of spring time, which is exactly when I would want to have this around. It also checks all the boxes whisky geeks like: ABV, no chill filtering or coloring, affordable. The "funk" might turn some people off

Edit: Prince Asholle

Darq and Fellanie by Kyoshin

Revised and new chapters will be posted in Tapas

All my original work!

"Lady Fellanie Anne Misdemeanir, how dare you torment our Divine Saintess," exclaimed an angry Asholle, Isakawegia's second prince, as he splashed dark fermented grape juice at me from the second floor balcony of the ballroom.

Shoulders and chin tucked in, I barrel rolled to the right in order to avoid the wine's trajectory.

The lazy ass should get down here if he wanted to assault me with Cab Sauv.

A sharp pain was felt at my wrist and ribs when I pitched out my hand to stop my roll. I grimaced when I came to the realization that I couldn't get up.

This body is too damn weak. My past self would have been able to roll away then sprint up the stairs to trash the guy with my handy dandy crowbar. However, my past self wouldn't be wearing a steel boned corset and 3 inch heels.

"SOMEONE DOUSE THE WENCH IN WINE," roared the second prince with fury.

Urgh, it took 3 hours to get dressed today with a small squadron of maids. Locks of red hair tumbled down as the pins wiggle free from my braided updo from my previous action scene.

Several bystanders stepped up and I became a receptacle for all sorts of drinks. My eyes instinctively shut closed as the astringent liquids trickled down my face onto my dress. My dress, a blank canvas, was now is painted with Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Pinot Noir, Merlot, Chardonnay and broken glass-

Wait- Who the hell threw a whole damn glass of wine at me?

I can feel my eyeliner running as I violently coughed and hacked up red wine and phlegm. If I knew that I was to be assaulted with various wines and  glasses, I would have worn burgundy instead of hotel sheet blanc. And brought a riot shield rather than a feather hand fan.

"I...think I inhaled some," I choked out, as the wines leaked out of my nostril. All eyes were on me as maroon liquid dribbled from my mouth, nostril, and glittery red eyeshadow started to smear around my eyes as I wiped my eyes with a flimsy handkerchief.

Eyebrows lowered and lips pouting outward, I attempted to look like a pitiful hot mess instead of a spiteful villainous hot mess to garner some pity.

Not a single sympathetic face in the crowd.

Even my fiancee, Crown Prince Rubles, glared at me. Rather than sym

Hi! I've been using this reddit for several months, and I started my world of indies almost exactly a year ago when I got a free sample of perfume with a gift a friend got me. I haven't posted a review, though! I've tried a few houses, but Alkemia is the one I have most experience and luck with, so I'll start there :) It's totally not to help me cope with waiting for an Ajevie purchase on the way

I'm a gourmands person that amplifies Alkemia's "green" notes, so I tend to avoid those, and I'm a HUGE fan of the creamy ambers they got going on. I've heard Alkemia isn't a great house to start dabbling with because they take so long to age, but I honestly had a grand time.

I'll be going vaguely in order of purchase, as I've done a few. Also, I pasted the descriptions into my chart and some of them were shortened for ease of reading, so apologies for anything that isn't exact.

Purchase experience:

Absolutely excellent. I miss the old packaging but the new envelopes are lovely too and I use the red wax stamp stickers to cover my computer camera. And, thank the stars, shipping itself is quite fast with where I live!

Now to round up the reviews! On my chart I have a scale made help me keep from buying anything I wasn't having high hopes for. It goes from:

Ok. (★☆☆☆☆ ; Polite decline.)

Mm... (★★☆☆☆ ; best I can say is someone else will like it?)

Nice (★★★☆☆ ; it's nice! I might keep it, but I was hoping for more.)

Ooo! ( ★★★★☆ ; very good! This is my typical minimum impression I require based on description.)

YES!!! (★★★★★ ; This is something I need forever, I am feeble. Godlike.)

Curious (No expectations, either recommended and I wouldn't try it otherwise or I'm so goddamn intrigued I'm giving it a shot even if I think I wouldn't like it.) (note: i didn't pick anything curious for this post, but I plan on including some in future reviews)

New Beginnings 2021: Iris for courage and wisdom; heliotrope for love; lavender for serenity and peace; neroli flowers for healing of mind and spirit; and figwood for enlightenment with touches of tart cloudberry and mandarin orange peel softly illuminated by golden musks.

Ohhhhh this is something interesting. It definitely aged well! It has a powdery scent with a nice puff of that mandarin. Soft, feminine, and since I haven't had anything like it. I almost regret giving it to my mother, but it's too strong for my taste.

Expected impression: Ooo! ★★★★

Actual: **Nice

What is everyone's favorite outside the big 6. Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Pinot Noir.

Mine is Charbono. Saddleback Vineyards in Oakville makes an incredible one.

I hosted a wine meet up/fundraiser for a local org and curated this line up for the wine flights:

• POE 2017 Sparkling Brut Rose (pinot meunier) - elegant, crisp, strawberry brioche
• Land of Saints 2020 Sauv Blanc - citrusy, mango and clean
• Ryme Cellars Vermentino Skin Contact ("his") - AMAZING. salty peachy and floral
• Holus Bolus 2018 Syrah - insanely sultry with savory charcuterie and black olive and pepper
• Little Frances 2019 Merlot - subtle, black fruits and pepper

Highlighted woman-produced/owned wines (minus the skin contact which was technically husband/wife duo and it's the "His" wine). It was my first official curation for "public consumption".

https://preview.redd.it/2i7axaftgh081.png?width=764&format=png&auto=webp&s=5a894ca6ef7e6fec90b33def4a4a50e2ed22f697

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Gouda, Brie, American Cheese, Pecorino Romano, Cheddar, Manchego, Camembert, Smoked Gouda, Provolone, Babybel, Parmesan, Mascarpone, Mozzarella, Asiago, Feta, Le Gruyere AOP, Gorgonzola, Monterey Jack, Stilton, Abbaye de Belloc, Taleggio, Grana Padano, Swiss, Boursin, Cotija, Fontina Val d’Aosta, Roquefort, Blue Vein Cheese, Emmental, Grana, Jarlsberg, Mozzarella di Bufala, Pepper Jack, Munster, Bocconcini, Fromage Frais, Ricotta Salata, Cream Havarti, Scamorza, Fromage a Raclette, Chevre, Pecorino, Burrata, Halloumi, Aged Gouda, Fresh Mozzarella, Colby, Limburger, Paneer, Queso Blanco, Port-Salut, Adelost, Abondance, Butterkase, Brillat-Savarin, Comte, Camembert de Normandie, Reblochon, Longhorn, Oaxaca, Airag, Abbaye du Mont des Cats, Saint Agur, Cottage Cheese, Panela, Acapella, Fresh Truffles, Romano, Wensleydale, Double Gloucester, Red Leicester, Abbaye de Citeaux, Colby-Jack, Caciocavallo, Crottin de Chavignol, Cream Cheese, Zanetti Parmigiano Reggiano, Juustoleipa, Baby Swiss, Le Roule, Brie de Meaux, Berkswell, Fresh Ricotta, Maasdam, Canadian Cheddar, Ambert, Tommes, Cantal, Menonita, Crescenza, Queso Ibérico, Crema Mexicana, Sage Derby, Geitost, Brick, Kasseri, Bel Paese, Affidelice au Chablis, Pave d’Affinois, Muenster, Danablu, Acorn, Afuega’l Pitu, Abbot’s Gold, La Vache Qui Rit, Buffalo, Caerphilly, Tomme de Chevre, Bath Cheese, Epoisses de Bourgogne, Cheshire, Neufchatel, Blue Castello, Basket Cheese, Saint-Nectaire, Cabrales, Stinking Bishop, Cotswold, Sainte Maure, Applewood, Fiore Sardo, Dolcelatte, Pont l’Eveque, Cahill’s Irish Porter Cheddar, Zanetti Grana Padano, Langres, Seriously Strong Cheddar, Il Boschetto al Tartufo, Appenzeller, Montasio, Ossua-Iraty, Ami du Chambertin, Vignotte, Wigmore, Humboldt Fog, Saint-Paulin, Brie de Melun, Maytag blue, Armenian String Cheese, Délice de Bourgogne, Kashkaval, Bra, Abbaye de Belval, Quark, Valencay, Provel, Pule, Etorki, Banon, Morbier, Boulette d’Avesnes, Breakfast Cheese, Caciotta, Idiazabal, Bavarian Bergkase, Allgauer Emmentaler, Bresse Bleu, Airedale, Livarot, Mimolette, Tomme de Savoie, Toma, Burgos, Ardrahan, Danbo, Requeson, Aisy Cendre, Ragusano, Castelmagno, Saint-André, Aged Chelsea, Caravane, String, Chaource, Bleu des Causses, Huntsman, Yorkshire Blue, Cougar Gold, Coulommiers, Tillamook cheddar, Beenleigh Blue, Danish Feta, Brin d’Amour, Somerset Brie, Ardi Gasna, Zamorano, Dry Jack, Vacherin Fribourgeois, Lincolnshire Poacher, Caprice des Dieux, Bandal, Creamy Lancashire, Ques

Do your worst!

I feel the need to preface that we footed the bill for a lot of the smaller things that traditionally aren’t the bride and groom’s responsibility. It was important to us that if we asked someone to be in the bridal party, they only spend money on their travel costs (flights, hotel rooms, etc). I know this is a little unconventional and I’ll admit we ended up spending more more than originally anticipated. BUT it was super important that the bridal party (our siblings, most of whom have children) weren’t saddled with a ton of of pocket costs on single-use items

We had 120 total guests, 10 of whom were kids under the age of 8.

With that, onto the budget breakdown:

Venue Rental - $15,795

>There is the option of indoor or outdoor ceremony space, climate controlled reception tent with dance floor, chairs/tables for reception and ceremony, DJ, and a full time coordinator (!!!) who handled literally all of the planning and details with the rest of our vendors. We rented tablecloths from them as well, which I think was around $400.
>
>One of the most important aspects of our venue search was finding a location that was NOT a former plantation. Any venue with a history of enslaved peoples was an immediate and automatic no. Our venue was a 7 mile/15 minute drive from the hotel where we arranged a room block and my dad paid for a shuttle bus to transport guests to and from the venue.

Photographer - $2,950

>This included an engagement shoot and 8 hours of coverage on our wedding date, plus a second shooter for the ceremony and reception. I picked our photographer because she had a gorgeous online portfolio of pictures that were exactly the vibe I was going for - bright, natural, and not overly stylized.

Catering - $5,900

>The venue had a list of “preferred” vendors for catering, so we went with the one that had the most variety. We had 5 passed hors d’oeuvres during cocktail hour, 3 entree options for a plated dinner (beef tenderloin, chicken, and a vegetarian pasta), and kids meals for guests under the age of 7.
>
>Catering cost also included 10 servers, 3 bartenders, ice, bar fruit, and non-alcoholic beverages/mixers.

Cake - $421.99

>Publix is the greatest grocery store cake in the world and you can’t change my mind on this. We got a medium-sized 3 tier cake for cutting (“Confetti Toss” was the name of the design we picked), plus a full sheet cake. We had SO much leftover sheet cake! I ended up vacuum sealing

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Hi everyone! I've destashed lots and lots of samples/decants this week - particularly BPAL - so let me know if anything catches your eye!

P.S. to fellow Swifties, happy Red re-release day!!!

For full details, please see my table here!

Bottles

ALKEMIA

• Affaire de Coeur (Sugared white musk, vanilla, white sandalwood, tonka, white amber, sugar cane)

ARCANA CRAVES

• Peaches Crave Pirates (Creamy Egyptian musk, wild honey, sweet coconut, exotic resins with plenty of peach)
• Pumpkins Crave Bacon (Sugar pumpkin with maple, nutmeg, and smoky bacon accord)
• Strawberries Crave Cacao (Bitter chocolate, German cocoa CO2, golden amber, brown musk, vodka, and strawberry roots)

ARCANA WILDCRAFT

• Anodyne (Frosty peppermint, blue German chamomile, gentle clover honey, chilled rice wine, copaiba)
• Sand In Your Tail (Black vanilla beans, orange blossoms, smoky tree resin, ambergris, pink pepper, tabac, rich incense)

ASTRID

• Merci no. 24 (Blueberry Pie)
• Tucking In (Sugared incense, heliotrope, white rose, lavender maillette, oud, soft mint, and black spruce)
• Whinnies Ten (Marshmallow with baby powder, blueberry, petit grain sur fleurs, and tangerine)

BLACK PHOENIX ALCHEMY LAB

• Cancer (2016) (Spring violets, white sandalwood, star jasmine, and cucumber with drops of lemon balm and mugwort)
• Drag is for Everyone (Sheer frankincense and bourbon vanilla skin musk)
• Eusapia (Pale lilacs, white tea, and candle wax)
• Faith (Sugared violet)
• Great Vampire Bat (Incense-touched jungle orchid)
• Kneel Down, Fair Love, and Fill Thyself with Tears (Orris root and silken white magnolia over a sheer dove-grey musk)
• Little Pythia (Vanilla frankincense and rose champaca with a little bit of red licorice)
• Pepper (Roses, gardenia, vanilla, honey, ginger, orange, pine, pink pepper, berries, tuberose, bergamot, geranium)
• Seven Word Story: Greed (Ambergris accord, orris root, and carrot seed)
• Signior Dildo (2010) (Orris, violet leaf, narcissus, and Madagascar vanilla)

EDEN PERFUMES

• No.032 Miss Cherry (Wild strawberry leaves, green tangerine, caramel, violets, wild strawberry)

FANTOME

• Olwyn (Magnolias, white lilies, night-blooming jasmine, gardenias, vanilla, myrrh, benzoin, orange blossom)

JO MALONE

• English Pear & Freesia

KYSE

• Jasmine Macarons (Jasmine, caramelized sugar, buttercream, heliotrope, co

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?