Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.

To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.

πŸ‘︎ 446
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today.

His mom got really angry.

πŸ‘︎ 270
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that McDonalds gave all their employees large laptops for Christmas?

They were Big Macs.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthMaster7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What similar to working at McDonald’s and being a archeologist in Athens

You will smell like ancient Greece

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AidenAvocado
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm ?

The CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to McDonald’s and ate a kid’s meal today.

His mom was pretty upset at me.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/creator35
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in McDonald's and I ask the worker how much for a big mac and fries

She said she didn't know, so I said roughly.

So in a deep voice she said "I DON'T KNOOOOW"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sentinel_UK
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Arby's cook who leaves to work for McDonald's?

An Arbitrator.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
McDonalds is working with Apple to create a huge gaming computer

They're calling it the Big Mac

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
"Old McDonald had a farm...."

Sang the happy repossession man.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
"Hey, Ronald McDonald - been watching any good clown movies?"

Ronald: I'm loving "IT"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ballroomaddict
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
With the McRib re-released a couple of days ago, I did this at McDonalds drive-thru today:

Me: Do you have Mac Rib in that special box.

Order Girl: Yes, yes we do.

Me: You should let him out. And I'll take three of them and a large fry.

(I was the only one that laughed, she just read back my total)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I see McDonald's has brought frogs' favorite sandwich back.

The McRibbit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GatorScribe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What would happen if you give McDonalds an operating system
  • They'd sell Mac
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickenFuzzNuts
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Every new McDonald's creates 40 new jobs...

20 heart surgeons and 20 dentists.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
As a journalist, I love going to McDonalds.

There's nothing better than a secret source.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.

Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."

(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)

πŸ‘︎ 157
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vforvegas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a computer made by McDonalds?

>!A Big Mac πŸ€“!<

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mildpumpkin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Old McDonald had a farm

On he's farm he had some weed

He high,he high, Oh

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonald’s locations on the ocean floor.

It’s called The Flounder.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Ronald McDonald say before sex?

Bah Dah Bah Bah Bah...Im Glovin' It!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a commander in Mcdonalds army?

A patty officer

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prophet-five
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A man and a women order a McDonalds

The man orders a Big Mac and a large fries. His wife orders a single cheeseburger. When the woman finishes her burger she glances at her husband. He has finished his burger and is moving onto the fries.

Still hungry, she looks at the fries and asks, 'Do you mind if I have a couple?'

He sighs and says, 'I suppose so,'

So she reaches over and takes a handful. The husband turns to her and asks, 'Is that a German couple?'

Confused, she responds, 'What is a German couple?'

He says, 'nein' as he slides his food out of her reach.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe4nna
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach

He has seasame seed buns

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tommymason52
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried the new McDonald's burger

It was a travisty

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does McDonalds not have a steak sandwich on the menu?

Because it would be a McSteak

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JDTaiwan23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Got a complimentary cheeseburger at McDonalds

It said I had nice eyes

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I just got a senior management position at Old McDonald’s farm

I’m the C I E I O

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoody13
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t McDonalds serve ribeye?

Because that would be a McSteak

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MynameisMatlock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
McDonald's now has outdoor seating again

Just wanted to give you that little nugget

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Andexm
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Hobbits go to McDonalds?

To get a second breakfast!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which classical composer do Old McDonald’s chickens prefer listening to before bedtime?

Bach...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlkWhtOrOther
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
So we were at a mcdonald's and they got my dad's order wrong 5 times.

Dad goes "Get me your mcfucking manager."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticSponge5568
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Old McDonald was dyslexic

E-O-E-O-I!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they call a philosophical monk that works at McDonald's?

A deep friar

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is Ronald McDonald's favorite musician?

Phil A. of Phish

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a new job this week as the senior director of Old McDonald’s farm...

I’m the new CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilobenny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Dyslexic boy asks his mother for a mcdonald’s, she goes only if you can spell it, he then says okay mum I’ll have a kcf
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The lid on my McDonald’s cup. How sweet?
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aquariace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Shakespeare goes into a McDonald's...

And orders a Macbeth....

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackStonerZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus hit my McDonald’s

And now they have a new excuse for the ice cream machine.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Mcdonald's trying to get into the steakhouse market?

It was a big McSteak.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking away from McDonald's with my drink sipping from my straw and I heard the lady tell the guy behind me that there were no straws left

This was the last straw

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alpha_Dynamite
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Shakespeare order when he went to McDonalds?

Mac Beth

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call working two shifts in one day at McDonald's?

A McDouble

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Tupac say when he bought his whole crew McDonalds?

All fries on me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Taco_PooPoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today....

His mother was furious.

πŸ‘︎ 366
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got a job as the senior director of the old McDonald farm

I’m the CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RadiateHER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

Because he has sesame seed buns.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheekycamo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.