If April showers bring May flowers, What do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/savagecheefer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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May be a repost. Idk. Just be gentle.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King-of-Landistan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"

"But it’s worth a shot!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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If you wear glasses and have been required to wear a mask during the COVID pandemic, you may be entitled to condensation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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What did may say to March after being accused

Ju-ly

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Your weather may be wet, but German weather is wetter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I know you may not think camping is fun.

But it’s in tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Smaller babies may be delivered by storks.....

... but the heavier ones need a crane .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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A bad testicles joke may evoke great reactions

It can kick people in the groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZarcoMacro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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People who sell meat and meat products may be disgusting to some people, but.....

People selling fruits and vegetables are definitely grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

So I fondled her boobs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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I may not have the fanciest dough mixing machine...

but it handles all my kneads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Courtesy of Victor Borge, may he rest in peace:

I can't stand sitting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jDubbaYo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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Google Maps: Your route may be affected by winter storm Uri.

I hope you’re not in a Uri.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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NASA scientists say it may be possible to live on Mars.

What a load of rubbish, I tried it and now I'm five stones heavier and diabetic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanixATK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Lock down MAY END by MAY END, or MAY NOT END by MAY END,as it MAY EXTEND....

But MAY will END, by MAY END, even if lockdown MAY NOT END.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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I know it's too soon and still very controversial, but it's likely that the rioters may have the death penalty.

It was, after all, a Capitol offense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roguebuckeye
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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Spongebob may be the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Gardening may be a gamble...

But I feel like a winner. Weed em and reap!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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This may have been posted before but it’s to Gouda not to share again
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TotalSnark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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This post may contain centsible content...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmson420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I called to speak to my doctor and the receptionist asked "May I ask who's calling?"

I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym...

For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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The word β€˜Diputseromneve’ may look ridiculous,

But backwards it’s even more stupid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I have a horse that's really asthmatic and I'm scared it may not make it. The vet prescribed some

bronco-die-laters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Letthembeefcake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I may get in trouble by using weird symbols,

But it's my own asterisk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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You may think it's funny to kiss someone while you have a runny nose

But it's snot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaleoGamer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Adult deer may not taste good covered in melted cheese

But their fawn do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brendan_07
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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You may not like Minecraft now...

But when the movie comes out, I assure you, it’s gonna be a blockbuster.

Credit: u/Iziahzay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vrn-722
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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My friend May owned a cornfield

Everything in it was maze

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DingusTickler007
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I may have been kicked out of my local watch shop for throwing the merchandise around, but I can confirm...

Time does fly when you’re having fun!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourLocalCreep
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Great joke, albeit a bit long winded.

There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."

His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"

"Okay son, go ahead."

The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

His son replied.

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."

His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.

"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"

The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.

On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.

"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"

"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."

Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.

"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phrresehelp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/middleraged
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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If April has May like weather then what does May weather brings?

A BOXING MATCH

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doom_dodo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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and the world may never know
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinker_Twat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Carrots may improve your eyes

But booze will double your vision

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennycrab12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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My Doctor told me that I may have a curvature of my upper back but he was not so sure.

It wax just a hunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
If April showers bring may flowers what do may flowers bring?

Pilgrims

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frudedude
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The word β€˜Diputseromneve’ may look ridiculous,

But backwards it’s even more stupid.

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork....

But, the heavier ones need a crane.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The word β€œdiputseromneve” may look ridiculous...

But backwards it’s even more stupid...

πŸ‘︎ 557
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork...

but the heavier ones need a crane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodwILL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Spongebob may be the protagonist

But to me, the star is Patrick

πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RalGard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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