Anyone know of another instance of this name pun?
We opened the cabinet and found China.
In the ninjacuzzi.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit theyβre bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. βIβd like some wings and a pint of beer, please,β it says. βSorry, but I canβt serve you,β the bartender replies. βYouβre out of your head.β
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. βWe donβt serve your kind here,β the bartender says. βWhy not?β one yogurt asks. βWeβre cultured.β
A friend of mine didnβt pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heβs an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and thereβs a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, βWhat are you staring at? Havenβt you ever seen a horse tending bar before?β The guy says, βItβs not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.β
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, βWhatβs with the paper towel?β The pirate says, βArrr! Iβve got a Bounty on me head!β
A turtle is crossing the road when heβs mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, βI donβt know. It all happened so fast.β
Armed robbersβsome say theyβre a drain on society, but youβve got to give it to them.
Barbersβ¦you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Donβt forget the pickle. Itβs kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereβs Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewisβ¦ Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit β‘Doyouthinkhesaurus
Edit: I definitely forgot this came from Jurassic Park. So credit goes to that. But itβs still funny.
Its the Internet Explorer.
It is brave enough to ask to be my default browser.
Hurricane polo is nowhere in sight
Marco Polio.
Today the chef asked him to prepare an order of chicken, so he said, "Marco, pollo."
My mom and I were talking about how Marco Polo spent a long time in Kublai Khan's court. She mentions that his father abandoned him there. My dad says, "Yeah, he couldn't find him in the pool...He kept calling 'Marco!'"
Marco Polo
Dad: "What are you watching?"
Son: "Marco Polo, it is one of those netflix original series things."
Dad: "So where do they keep the pool?"
Context: watching the netflix series "Marco Polo".
Family rolls eyes and father chuckles.
Marco Pollo
Marco Polio
Marco Polio.
I knew a young couple who had a baby boy they named Marco. They did not believe in vaccinations and at 8 Marco got polio and just could not stand it.
Dad: NervousPooer, you forgot one of your shirts at our house yesterday.
Me: Oh? What shirt was it?
Dad: Hmm...
Me: Oh Polo?
Dad: Marco!
We opened the cabinet and found China.
Water polio
Any time I order something that lists "chicken" as an option, like fajitas for example, he asks the following:
"You've got fajitas? Okay, chicken or pollo?"
At this point I just tell him either one is fine.
