There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.
My friend started making fun of a man on wheelchair.
I said him "dude stop pulling his leg... It's not funny"
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it's not exciting at all
Back to the drawing, bored
I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea
I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing
I'm applying coats of varnish to the table I'm making
My brother: Jeez, How many coats do you need? I'm sure the table is warm enough already!
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
I tried making an old family recipe of german sausage boiled in vodka.
It was the Absolut wurst.
Do any of you have experience making Moroccan Rolls?
I found a recipe in a magazine but I wasn't sure about it because the recipe calls for thyme and a bunch of other spices. I had them all, but unfortunately they were all expired. I decided to make them anyways, took them to a party, and they ended up all being eaten, everyone thought they were delicious.
I guess what they say is true.
People love that old thyme Moroccan roll.
My friend asked about my secret of making the juiciest steak
He isn’t pleased saying it’s too dry.....
I just told him “it needs more thyme in the pan”
Two inventors died and ascended to heaven. There, they met each other and with their brilliant minds created a brand new form of fire making utensil.
It was a match made in heaven.
I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...
But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"
Mom: I'm thinking of making pasta or taco for dinner. What are you thoughts?
Dad: Those are the little voices that say things inside my head.
Say what you want about carrot top, but fact of the matter is he’s out there making a living as a comedian
You gotta give him props for that
My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.
He said, “I’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
My brother is always making fun of my truck
I heard a large oil company is making fuel out of bug urine...
I thought about making a belt of watches
Then I realised that it would be a waist of time.
Apparently a bunch of comedians are making their own beer at the local pub.
I don't know, sounds like a big brewhaha to me.
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
I've been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes.
My wife was making fun of how many cavities I’ve had over the years...
I replied, “Please stop talking about it. You’re hurting my fillings.”
TIL that during the making of Monty Python's Holy Grail, a crazed gunman got on set.
John Cleese and Graham Chapman were terrified for their lives, but it turned out the guy was just making Idle threats
They're making a longer version of Magic Mike.
It's called Magical Michael.
Making light of the situation
My friend sits around all day dreaming of making bread.
I angered the Scottish guy by making fun of his skirt...
He nearly kilt me. I poked him in the aye in defense.
My sister and I were making a pie for the 4th of July
After making it, we opened the fridge to cool it. After being unable to find space for it, I suggested we move the steaks that my mom is saving for dinner. As we put them on a higher shelf, I looked at her and said “The steaks have been raised”
I started a company making airplane windows out of raw sand
Investors couldn't see the business taking off
Pros and Cons of making food
I was making a sandwich and all of a sudden it flew away
Making the most out of a typo
I keep making fun of whiteboards.
They're quite remockable.
One of my friends has a job making mirrors.
I personally couldn't see myself doing that.
Seeing such high unemployment rate, I thought of making a joke about unemployed people
but none of them worked...
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Let me tell you how I got so good at making pictures of cash....
I made many many many many many money drawings.
A friend of mine is making easy money by photographing salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
I tried making a belt of watches once.
My friend is making a lot of money by selling photos of salmon dressed up in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
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