My printer was making music so I checked it out.
It’s been years since the show ended, and I’m a little annoyed that people are still making ‘Friends’ references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
Honest LPT: I got embarrassed the other day, and want to help other people avoid making my mistake. Now this might seem counterintuitive, but if you come up with a good dad joke MEMORIZD it and NEVER write it down. Because the moment you put it on paper...
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
Why did the spider just mind it's own business making a web?
To make sure I wasn't being bugged
My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...
Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.
I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it's not exciting at all
Back to the drawing, bored
making it this far has been no small feet
I recently switched from using mayonnaise to using butter for making grilled cheese sandwiches. My wife said she liked them more with the butter, but kindly asked me if it was more work this way?
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
Did you hear the Trump administration is thinking about making it illegal to sell pre-shredded cheese?
Apparently they want to make America grate again.
It's too bad about the guy that overreacted after falling into a lens-making machine.
He truly made a spectacle of himself.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
Coin making machines are really easy to understand. It just makes cents.
My son ate too much Easter candy one year, and threw it all up making loud wailing sounds as he did so.
I didn't want to hear another Peep out of him.
My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said "ahh, like making love in a canoe."
I asked if it was that good, his smile faded and he looked me dead in the eye as he said no, its fucking close to water. He poured it down the drain without losing focus and walked out of the kitchen
I just bought a bed that was advertised as making you fall asleep in under 5 minutes. It didn't work.
My wife said, “I wonder what our neighbor is making. He always has his jigsaw out.” I said, “I don’t know. It’s a real...
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
I was making a sandwich and all of a sudden it flew away
I tried making flour mate but it didn't work!
I thought it could be bred!
Is it true that Mom's making spaghetti?
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
An amateur messed up making cheese. He had no whey to fix it.
I recently got a job making roads, it's boring as
Making puns is so easy, it's really a
It’s been a busy day, so I was planning on making some herbal tea..
But I just can’t seem to find the thyme!
My family was going around in a circle all making jokes. It got to my dad, and he didn’t say anything. I lean over and say to him:
Patient (at a therapist): I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then a teepee; then a wigwam. It’s making me crazy. What’s wrong with me?
Therapist: You need to relax. You’re two tents.
If you tell people "na" periodically it will just end up making them salty.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping.
...with a really angry bear somewhere close by.
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.
it’s best to dodge making puns on reddit.
What did the milky mushroom call the other mushroom who wouldn't stop making fun of it's pale complexion?
The US mint wants to stop making pennies because it costs more to make than the returns...
That wouldn't make cents.
I was making a sandwich the other day and put a slice if swiss cheese on it. My son asked, "Dad, pepperjack is you favorite, why are you using swiss cheese?"
I relied, "Cutting calories!"
Reddit making its own puns
An author was mad at the store manager because not a single copy of his autobiography was making it past the cash register
I guess his story didn't check out
A man said he was making prosthetic eyes. A blind man says it’s impossible
The man just says, you’ll see.
I bought a porn mag company and I'm making it into a Christian magazine.
I'm still working out a few kinks
My printer was making music so I checked it out
Turns out the paper was jamming
My printer started making music, so I checked it out...
It’s been more than 15 years since the show was over, but people are still making ‘Friends’ references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
It’s been almost 15 years since the show ended, and I can’t believe people are still making Friends references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
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