Lot's wife Puns

I do hope she doesn’t make a habit of it

It's like I've never seen herbivore

She wined all night.

When it was done she said "we're all stocked up!"

I was a Chemistry major.

She likes to rumba...

But it just made scents to me.

So I asked her for help clearing the junk

The womb service is great

For example: If she is holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

Our friend in the back seat was a dad for a short while. All I heard her say was "I guess only half of the car is backing up."

I'm so proud of her.

We're in a poly-hammerous relationship

Husband: Personally prefer blue jeans, but whatever floats your boat

Her: Huh?

MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....

Me: Shit.

Husband: A kiss makes my whole day, anal makes my whole week.

Wife: A kiss makes my whole day, anal makes my hole weak.

Ass you can see.

My wife said "For each one we kill, two emerge."

I said "Looks like we have a flydra problem on our hands."

She walked off.

I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.

Me: Doesn't look like you have mushroom left in there.

She said "a distinct portion or section of land."

and so do I

In the house of my great grand parents they had bats in the attic for a while. Eventually one flew down and landed by my great granddad, whose wife called him Tall as a name.

GGP: "Look Mary theres a bird on the wall!"

GGM: "Oh, shit Tall that ain't no bird! That's a bat and you know it!"

GGP: "I told you my name ain't Shittall!"