A loco motive
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What do you call a crazy reason for robbing a train?

A loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?

Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeftClickMadness
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Why did the crazy Mexican kill people on trains?

He has loco-motives

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Railway companies must be nuts.

After all, they have loco-motives.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wontonnoodles98
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Found guilty on all charges, the train couldn't rationalize his off-the-wall behavior.

It was a loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What did the train engineer say when the electric chair didn’t work on him?

β€œI guess I’m just a good conductor”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lichiiiii
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.

Guess it is a pretty loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michael428
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Where do astronauts go for lunch?

Apollo Loco

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Did you hear about the train robbery down in Mexico?

They said the robber had a loco-motive.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenburrito_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Why did the train conductor commit a crazy crime?

Because he had a Loco-motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJRichter
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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A train engineer believed a hospital ship was the site of secret government conspiracy and decides to ram it with his train.

Now that's what I call a loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KROMATIXX_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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Eduardo Moreno tried to crash his train into a Navy hospital ship to expose a supposed conspiracy

That’s a crime with a loco motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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Why did the train kill the other train for no good reason?

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/souphead420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Spanish train robber

A psycho was recently arrested for train robbery. He spoke both English and Spanish, although all we've heard is that he had some sort of loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixxelMaster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the train conductor in Mexico that got arrested for murder?

Yeah, apparently he had Loco-motives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A train engineer pled insanity for wrecking the train.

That was his loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train robber??

He had Loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingobaby98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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Three Dad Jokes on the way to school this morning.

So, we're driving up a tree-lined street where people often have wedding/family photos taken. It's lined with live oaks and is pretty beautiful. That prompted this conversation.

12 y/o daughter: Why do people sometimes get their wedding photos taken on train tracks? That doesn't make sense.

Me: Because they choo-choose to? [with a debt to Ralphie Wiggam]

6 y/o daughter (Loud groan): Papi, that's a terrible joke.

Me: So you think you could engineer a better one if I train you?

12 y/o: Dad why do you always make these awful jokes?

Me: Because I've got loco motives!

At that point I started laughing so hard I couldn't come up with anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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Did you hear about the engineer who had a crazy reasoning for doing something?

He had a loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyrdrink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Mexicans rob the train?

Because they had loco motives.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiptonite08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the maniac kill the train engineer?

He had a loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humor_Tumor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How do crazy people walk?

Loco motion

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaytix1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A Mexican train conductor recently plead insanity.

He said he had a loco motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stage_directions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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I was on a train in Mexico when its started crazily rocking from side to side

it was a loco motion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the train sent to the insane asylum after being convicted of first degree murder?

He had a LOCO MOTIVE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DDevil37
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a railroad engineer do to prepare for his job?

He trains.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zechman4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
🚨︎ report
An alternate title for Crazy Train could be

'Loco' Motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Redstarre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
So I found this talking train and asked it why it just went back and forth on the same tracks for its whole life. It responded saying β€œthe voices in my head tell me to”.

It was a loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGunslinger215
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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I’m going on a train tomorrow for a really crazy reason

I guess you could say I have a loco motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/futilitypatent
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear? The unemployment rate among doritos tacos is higher than other tacos!

Apparently one in three was fired last year.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?

He had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nereothefinest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy guy steal a train?

He just had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxAvery
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time we go over a railroad crossing, I tell my kids...

β€œHey, a train just went by!"

β€œHow do you know daddy?”

β€œBecause its tracks are still here!”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A train robbed a bank.

What kind of loco motives could it have?

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cringelord123456
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?

Because he had a loco-motive.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CREEPONATER
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer

He had locomotives

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0b_l0b_law
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train robber

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dotesmagoats3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did they arrest the Mexican train conductor?

Because he had a loco motive!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xiamenlamian
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A man wanted to impress his friends so he stole a train…

The police said "That's a loco motive."

πŸ‘︎ 195
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jezmck
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust a train?

Because it has loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 310
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deecool1000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco-motives

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazcort
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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