I live with a bunch of loonies

Roommate is eating some tortilla chips called "Santitas"

Me: Oh, sanitary chips, that's some clean eating

Roommate: No, they're sanitarium chips.

Me: In that case, they must be crazy good

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Norsbane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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I often worry about German sausages

Basically I fear the wurst.

Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olafminesaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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I broke up with my girlfriend because she is obsessed with North American aquatic birds that resemble large ducks when swimming...

She's too loony!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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My dad out dad-joked my dad-joke.

Necessary Terminology: Toonie= Canadian $2 Coin

Friend's Facebook Status: "Laundromats aren't so bad when you find a toonie in the drier."

I commented: "If the drier cost $2, you could call it a wash!"

I was sort of proud of my dad-joke, so later that day, I told my dad the story.

Dad: "Do you think she'll be arrested?" Me: "No, why?" Dad: "For Money Laundering"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/druman55
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2014
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What do Canadians call their Dollar Stores?

Loonie Bins!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zortor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Great escape

Four chickens escaped from a slaughter house by riding on the back of a sheep.

They're still on the lamb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/solomonsaysgo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Dad and I were discussing the migration patterns of loons....

Dad - You know why you always see loons by themselves?

Me - Territori.....

Dad - Because if there were more than one, they would not be a-loon

-_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manthey8989
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2015
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This is just a list of 50 famous people but if they were birds.
  • George Washwington
  • Leonarcrow da Vinci
  • Eagle Allen Poe
  • Harry S. Toucan
  • Teddy Dodosevelt
  • Charles Duckens
  • Octavian Owlgustus
  • Flysaac Newton
  • Benchicken Franklin
  • Gullysses S. Grant
  • Vincent Van Goose
  • John Lhawk
  • Charlecrane
  • Pengthoven
  • Nikquaila Tesla
  • Jean-Jacques Roostsseau
  • Charles Darwren
  • Rheasus Christ
  • Broodha
  • King Loony XIV
  • Nenepoleon Bonaparte
  • Mahootma Gandhi
  • Winstint Churchill
  • Genghis Swan
  • Pladove
  • Aleggsander the Great
  • Paul the Apostail
  • Lark Twain
  • Dante Aliturkey
  • Michelangswallow
  • Cardinal Marx
  • Albatross Lincoln
  • Robin E. Lee
  • Adolf Swiftler
  • Alextanager Hamilton
  • Ibis Presley
  • Ronald Raven
  • Arnestotle
  • Emuhammad
  • Sir Francis Beakon
  • Tchaikovskylark
  • Christfowler Columbus
  • Finchard Nixon
  • Henry VIII
  • Albert Einstork
  • Thomas Jayfferson
  • William Shrikespeare
  • Woodcock Wilson
  • King Chorioles I of England
  • Johann Sebastian Flock

Edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/captbodgers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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When Canadian cultural icons like Justin Bieber and Drake rap about money....

are the songs called Loonie Tunes?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharksizzle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2016
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