A list of puns related to "Live 8"
Because he lived in a pen!
So very proud!
I've been living here for 274 years and seen nothing strange.
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
They say it's a lunatic.
But it will be LIVE STREAMED.
No one crosses me and lives
Because their lives are in ruins
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
which is cool because i only live 3 doors down.
"I have to live in a Sea Anemone to keep me safe from preditors"
Jelly Fish shows off its tanticles; "With fronds like these, who needs Anemones."
....aren't you basically living of taxes, for not paying taxes?
After I dug into the details of a theoretical zombie crisis and the entrances and exits of our home, I settled on the master bedroom.
My son sighs and says, "the living room."
High five buddy, you got me.
Because he lives at I-hop.
(He was so proud of his dad joke, he asked me to post it... lol)
The living room!
There is a place called Merseyside - Milton Jones at the Apollo live
He dismantles them for a living.
Because if they lived by the bay they’d be bagels.
Hi guys! I’m opening and Etsy shop with my sisters selling stickers (for all ages). There’s 3 of us, we live on the south shore, Massachusetts by the beach. Looking for a punny name!!! Help me out :)
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
I live for them, they quack me up. Give me what y'all got >:)
...a yellow belly, a red back, lives underground, and eats rocks?
A Three Legged Yellow Bellied Red Back Rock Eater!
Nothing, he lived in da-nile
He has ereptile dysfunction and lives in Lake Flaccid
I play dnd and my bard is very annoyed, that our party's druid, who is an earth genasi (appearance was described as a living statue)) won't give anyone his name.
So my bard will only address them with rock based puns until they properly introduce themselves.
He's living on a pear.
The recipe said to separate two eggs, so I put one in the living room...
because I live in Canada.
...And eveyone just wanted their washing machines to live longer
“I live in Spain without the ‘s’”.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the “Bah”.
I have a double China without the “a”.
Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the “an”.
Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the “J”.
You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the “Ku”.
Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the “Ne”.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food. Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the “Den”, of course.
Jen, you in the living room?
Dying in a living room.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Once upon a time there were numerous tribes in a jungle. Each tribe struggled to survive, and over time and as skills evolved, tribes began to trade goods with each other. One tribe learned the skills of architecture, and traded designs for safe grass houses with neighboring tribes for other necessities, such as food. Over time, the tribe grew quite rich, and without the need for goods the chief of the tribe demanded payment in the form of a tribute, an ornate throne. Over time the number of thrones the chief owned grew more and more numerous, so he had a great multi-story grass house built to store all of his thrones. One day, the weight of the thrones became so much the house collapsed, killing the chief. The moral of the story is… wait for it…
He who lives in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
That he knew what 64 divided by 3 was: 21.33333 As he's running back to his room he asks "Why are there so many 3's?"
Me as he's running away "Because it can't even!"
After all, it lives its whole life in vein
Between a politician and a lawyer. One tells lies for a living the other makes a life out of lying.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
He only lives a stone's throw away
He lives just a stone throw away.
My son saw the huge tree and asked, "Are you going to put i up yourself?"
I replied, "No son I'm going to put it up in the living room."
Me: I don't live in Little Rock, I live in Sherwood
Boyfriend: Sherwood be nice if I could see you right now
Stop living in de nile
If they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels.
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