When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..

It's a current affair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reachingnexus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?

He was grounded

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjfullinfaw07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?

Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanoffeeBoi35
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Risky Dad Joke: My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...

So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricTheReddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2014
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The Coffin Joke

Three brothers are trick or treating near a shady house. Suddenly, a spider appears on the first brothers arm causing him to scream in shock. This causes the second brother to run away in fear only to get hit over the head by a dead tree branch. The third brother tries to escape but trips over a coffin. Filled with fright, the three brothers decide to go back home before they are stopped by a ghost that informs them, β€œThe items you have encountered today will kill you in exactly 20 years.” and vanishes into thin air. Understandably, the three brothers were terrified out of their wits and ran back to their house.

20 years later on Halloween, the first brother has booby trapped and spider-proofed his entire house. Unfortunately, he accidently runs into a wall causing a black widow to fall on his arm and killing him.

The second brother has prepared for many years and made sure that he was nowhere near any trees. However, he somehow miscalculated by one day and was killed when a lightning bolt struck a tree causing it to fall and crush him.

The third brother completely forgot about the ghost’s warning and was having dinner with his wife. His allergies were really acting up that night, so he decided to go to a pharmacy to purchase some allergy medicine. Suddenly, without any warning, the entire store goes dark and a giant coffin appears in front of him, opens up, and starts moving towards him. Remembering his frightful Halloween over 20 years ago, the brother starts desperately throwing everything in sight towards the coffin but to no avail. Now there is nothing else left other than a lone bottle of NyQuil. In one last brave attempt, the brother throws the bottle of NyQuil at the coffin and it miraculously vanishes.

Because NyQuil keeps the coffin’ away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schosple-collopis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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So a group of nuns is golfing near some men

A man swings his club and fails to hit the ball.

Man: God damnit, I missed.

A nun shakes her head in disapproval. The man swings again and misses yet again

Man: Damnit, I missed again!

Nun: Sir, if you keep on swearing like that, you're gonna go to hell.

The man then laughs and dismisses the nun's comment. He makes one more attempt at hitting the ball, but to no avail.

Man: God fucking damnit!

The sky then goes dark, a lightning bolt strikes the nun, and you can hear a thundery voice say, "God damnit, I missed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FroYo10101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Need help with Zeus puns.

I am doing an extra credit project where I am making a "Date Me" page for the Greek god Zeus. Any puns (cheesy or not) are greatly appreciated. Thank you! :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimonRB
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2014
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The Cheating Painter

A man was a painter, he sold paint and also painted houses for people. However, he liked to water down the paint and thin it. He would cheat his customers by forcing them to buy more paint than they needed due to the low quality.

One day, while up on a ladder painting a house with his thinned paint a bolt of lightning struck at him and he fell to the ground.

He heard a deep booming voice from heaven yell "repaint and thin no more!"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
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A shocking match

Did you hear about the Chess Grandmaster who, after he lost a match, destroyed the table with a massive hammer and called lightning bolts down to destroy his opponent's car?

He was banned from future competitions for being such a Thor loser.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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My dad really likes trains.

The other day he wanted to ask me a math question, "Let's say a lightning bolt strikes a mile long metal train at the very back end. How long until it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he is a good conductor?" He sat there with his mouth open and a bad joke eel smile, waiting for me to laugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunnymansams
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2014
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