We are almost out of kitty litter, so my cats will make doo with what litter we have imgur.com/scUiBA3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Ran out of cat food, so the kitties got tuna

Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asswype_poptart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Wife: Awwww, it’s a cute kitty cat.

Me: Yes, it’s very purrrrrty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakefromAetna
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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Spot on!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lunkz3n
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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"Mr. President" could be a great name for a dog...

You could tell him to get off the couch by saying "Get down, Mr. President!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Walter_Bishop_PhD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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I dad joked my fwb

We're in bed, and her 2 cats are jumping all over everything in her room. Typical cat things.

Her: (sarcastically) "I should just dump them outside on the sidewalk."

Me: "Wouldn't that be KITTY LITTER??"

Her: (groans)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmc20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
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What is soft and furry, says Meow, and is filled with cement?

The answer is a kitty cat. I just put the cement in to make it hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2018
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Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Not a father but I used this on my GF

My girlfriend and I were in the vet's office when she mentioned seeing a cat in the middle of the road that had been struck by a car earlier that day. We had both seen it and she said that there needed to be a moment of silence for the fallen kitty.

I said, "more like a meowment of silence..."

She called me an idiot as I laughed for a good minute or so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ANDTHEMETSWIN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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Spaghetti Dinner

My family was all eating spaghetti around the kitchen table one night when my Dad just started chuckling out of nowhere, spaghetti sauce falling down his shirt. His laughs quickly got louder and more food began to fall out of his mouth. Everyone immediately knew what was up.

"So...haha, so what do you get when you cross a cat with some fireworks?"

We blankly stare back. "What?"

"Kitty Kitty Bang Bang!"

He then just stared at us all laughing, tears in his eyes. My mom got up and left the room.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glasenator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2013
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Just dadjoked the cat!

After failing to get a laugh after making a joke leaving our living room, I came across the cat and said, "I'm a funny guy."

Then followed with, "Guess that means you're the kitty and i'm the kidder."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blindninjafart
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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I got one in before my dad, he was jealous

So, I inherited my father's hilariously lame sense of humor and love of dad jokes. A few years ago I was Skyping with my parents and my mom was telling me how they would come home and find our cats up on the kitchen table laying on the laptop. She said something along the lines of "I wonder why they're doing it so much."

I responded (rather quickly, I might add) with "They're probably looking at kitty porn."

My dad was mad that he didn't think of it himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CraigularB
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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