Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.
Me: Yes, it’s very purrrrrty
You could tell him to get off the couch by saying "Get down, Mr. President!"
We're in bed, and her 2 cats are jumping all over everything in her room. Typical cat things.
Her: (sarcastically) "I should just dump them outside on the sidewalk."
Me: "Wouldn't that be KITTY LITTER??"
Her: (groans)
The answer is a kitty cat. I just put the cement in to make it hard.
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
My girlfriend and I were in the vet's office when she mentioned seeing a cat in the middle of the road that had been struck by a car earlier that day. We had both seen it and she said that there needed to be a moment of silence for the fallen kitty.
I said, "more like a meowment of silence..."
She called me an idiot as I laughed for a good minute or so.
My family was all eating spaghetti around the kitchen table one night when my Dad just started chuckling out of nowhere, spaghetti sauce falling down his shirt. His laughs quickly got louder and more food began to fall out of his mouth. Everyone immediately knew what was up.
"So...haha, so what do you get when you cross a cat with some fireworks?"
We blankly stare back. "What?"
"Kitty Kitty Bang Bang!"
He then just stared at us all laughing, tears in his eyes. My mom got up and left the room.
After failing to get a laugh after making a joke leaving our living room, I came across the cat and said, "I'm a funny guy."
Then followed with, "Guess that means you're the kitty and i'm the kidder."
So, I inherited my father's hilariously lame sense of humor and love of dad jokes. A few years ago I was Skyping with my parents and my mom was telling me how they would come home and find our cats up on the kitchen table laying on the laptop. She said something along the lines of "I wonder why they're doing it so much."
I responded (rather quickly, I might add) with "They're probably looking at kitty porn."
My dad was mad that he didn't think of it himself.
