Joseph Kearns Puns

This is my first topic starter on any Reddit board. I compiled a list of teams I consider to be each side in the NRL's best 17 over that period of time. I'm asking if there should be any changes to any of the teams and who would win a fictional competition? Who would play in a Grand Final ? or even a top 8 if you wanted, I have gone on a merit-based system so Thurston doesn't make the dogs' team over Sherwin etc.

Brisbane Broncos

1. Darius Boyd

2. Lote Tuqiri

3. Justin Hodges

4. Israel Folau

5. Wendall Sailor

6. Darren Lockyer

7. Kevin Walters

8. Shane Webcke

9. Shaun Berrigan

10. Petero Civoniceva

11. Gorden Tallis

12. Sam Thaiday

13. Tonie Carroll

14. Karmichael Hunt

15. Payne Haas

16. Corey Parker

17. Brad Thorn

Canberra Raiders

1. Clinton Schifkofske

2. Jordan Rapana

3. Jarrod Croker

4. Joel Monaghan

5. Blake Ferguson

6. Jack Wighton

7. George Williams

8. Josh Papalii

9. Josh Hodgson

10. Ruben Wiki

11. Elliott Whitehead

12. Josh Bateman

13. Jason Croker

14. Mark McLinden

15. Luke Davico

16. David Shillington

17. Alan Tongue

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs

1. Luke Patten

2. Hazem El-Masri

3. Nigel Vagana

4. Josh Morris

5. Matt Utai

6. Braith Anasta

7. Brent Sherwin

8. James Graham

9. Michael Ennis

10. Steve Price

11. Willie Mason

12. Andrew Ryan

13. Sonny-Bill Williams

14. Ben Barba

15. Mark O'Meley

16. Josh Jackson

17. Roy Asotasi

Cronulla Sharks

1. David Peachey

2. Mat Rogers

3. Jack Bird

4. Chris McKenna

5. Valentine Holmes

6. James Maloney

7. Brett Kimmorley

8. Jason Stevens

9. Michael Ennis

10. Andrew Fifita

11. Luke Lewis

12. Wade Graham

13. Paul Gallen

14. Preston Campbell

15. Matt Prior

16. Jayson Bukuya

17. Greg Bird

Gold Coast Titans

1. Will Zillman

2. Kevin Gordon

3. Mat Rogers

4. Brian Kelly

5. Anthony Don

6. AJ Brimson

7. Scott Prince

8. Luke Bailey

9. Nathan Friend

10. Ryan James

11. Nate Myles

12. David Fifita

13. Greg Bird

14. Preston Campbell

15. Anthony Laffranchi

16. Mark Minichello

17. Ashley Harrison

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

1. Brett Stewart

2. Tom Trbojevic

3. Steve Matai

4. Jamie Lyon

5. Rueben Garrick

6. Kieran Foran

7. Daly Cherry-Evans

8. Brent Kite

9. Matt Ballin

10. Addin Fonua-Blake

11. Glenn Stewart

12. Jack Trbojevic

13. Ben Kennedy

14. Michael Monaghan

15. Martin Taupau

16. Antony Watmough

17. Steve Menzies

Melbourne Storm

1. Billy Slater

2. Josh Addo-Carr

Do your worst!

It really does, I swear!

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Bob

Just to clarify, 12345678

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

free

Because his Visa didn’t work.

Because the audience only responds in a low ha