I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
Alright guys, which is the best name for a llama? (All pun based)
What is Jesus' favourite band?
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
My new vacuum cleaner is alright.
It doesn't suck as much as my last one.
Jesus Christ is such a legend
The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is always just a whim away...
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car
Looks like it was a Christler
Why is Jesus considered the richest saint?
He made the most prophets.
Well we just found out that my grandpa is addicted to Viagra
And man my grandma sure is taking it hard.
I just realized that my calculator is missing the minus button.
But on the plus side, it still works.
You might think my portable beverage holder is just ok, but I think it’s
Just found out that diarrhoea is hereditary...
...apparently it runs in your jeans.
What is the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster that just got a boob job?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
Alright guys, which is the best name for a llama? (All pun based)
Why is Jesus a great gym buddy?
Kid just asked me, "What is bacteria?"
I said, "It's the place at the rear of the cafeteria!!"
Marriage is just like a tornado. . .
In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing,but by the time it's over... you've lost your house.
I just watched a horror movie where an old couple is chased around by probiotic yogurt.
It was called Paranormal Activia.
There were two muffins in an oven, and one says to the other “is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?” Then the second one says-
“AAAH! TALKING MUFFIN!!!”
Why is Jesus a good runner
I admit it’s a repost, but this pun is just a sin... Please let me know if you get it!!!
Alright now this is too far
There is a new drug on the streets called Jesus Christ...
Ya, most users are taking the Lord's name in vein.
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
What is the difference between Jesus Christ and his picture?
His picture only requires one nail to hang
Alright this is a pun isn’t it
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
I just realized why the game is called "cricket"
it's about the spectators' reaction...
What is the difference between an Australian pop star and Jesus on the toilet?
Naah mate, just my pHocus is changed now
Feel blessed to live in Hawai'i but apparently, I'm just not a funny guy. Every time I tell a joke, all I get is...
I can always tell when someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can tell when they're standing too.
Everyone thinks Jesus is great because he walked on water.
But Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
THIS JUST IN: A man is still in critical condition after swallowing $100,000 in large bills.
Typing the word milk is alright.
That’s all I got and I did it in like four different posts.
I regret nothing.
Just so everyone is clear
I'm gonna put on my glasses
I just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is poor grammar.
He said "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."
I'm going to make a website that is just videos and pictures of trains and trolleys.
Alright....time for a classic. The Ceo of Datsun was talking to his other high ranking workers when it had just been founded and said, you have 2 days to come up with a name for our company
The workers in a thick Japanese accent said DAT SOON
I’m addicted to abusing nuns, I just can’t not hit them, the only thing that’s worked for me is redirecting it to somebody else.
I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot
My son just told me that he is studying Mesopotamia this term
I said “Great, I can Babylon about it for hours!”
I just love when food is packed with more food
The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just a whim away
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
I can always tell, just by looking, when someone is lying.
I can also tell when they're standing.
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