It Waits Puns

on Sonday.

In Kuwait

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”

I went full sexist pig, “YOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”

She replied coldly, “No, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

I guffawed, “I can’t believe that, show me!”

So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, “HEBREWS!”

The son said, “What’s slash dad jokes?” Kids, right!

Pho queue.

What happens when you finally get your soup but you caught a cold while you were waiting?

Pho cough.

"Who's Budapest?"

"That's my stomach's name, because it's the capital of HUNGRY."

We are having Chicken Burrrrito’s.

http://i.imgur.com/QaHijAp.png

The punchline.

Me: Dad, I bumped my head! Dad: Does your face hurt? Me: No... Dad: 'cause it's killin' me!

I miss Dad jokes. This subreddit makes me happy when I miss my Dad, because he would have loved these. :)

I'm not saying I'll watch it. But there's been wurst casting.

[We have just finished our meal]

Waiter/Waitress: Is there anything else I can get you?

Dad: Nope, that will be all, thanks.

[Waiter/Waitress hands us the bill]

Dad: I said I didn't want anything else...

Works best out loud..

"You know how at most schools student who reach certain GPA's are awarded either Magna cum Laude or Summa Cum Laude or something along those lines? What do the students who get 2.0's get?

Thank the Laude!"

Lumberjack: and you will dialogue

The lumberjack then said: "And you will dialogue."

The lumberjack grinned, “And you will dialogue!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

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