Why is six afraid of seven?
7 was a well known 6 offender
Ebay is so useless
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
What is a pregnant women's favourite part of a hike?
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: “And what is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten.
reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
Barack Obama went to a costume party giving his wife a piggyback. Someone asks what he is and says "I'm a snail!"
"That's M'Shell on my back!"
One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments
That’s just unpresidented
Is this sub still active?
Haven't seen anyone post all year!
(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)
Lance is an uncommon name nowdays
But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
My daughter told me Jim Morrison is overrated.
I told her not to slam The Doors in my house.
This is the... wait, what?
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
Why is dark spelled with a K?
Because you can't c in the dark.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
The wife and I were at the marriage counselor. "Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?" The marriage counselor asked glaring at me.
I look at my wife frustratingly and shout "You never even told me you sold flowers!?"
This pun is a Cut above the rest
Whst is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat ?
Someone told me Trumps last order as president is to outlaw shredded cheese.
Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again 🤔
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
I admit it’s a repost, but this pun is just a sin... Please let me know if you get it!!!
Adjective for metal is metallic
But not so for iron which is ironic
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
This is my best pick-up line
"Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing." I said to my wife.
She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."
I heard the Kool Aid man is starting a baseball team.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
After years of trying, a woman tells her husband she is pregnant.
The man, tearing up, takes his wife's hand and says, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm going to be a dad."
Why is a good dad joke like good sex?
They tend to make eyes roll.
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
What is the opposite of a croissant?
Did you know that Diarrhea is hereditary?
What is the hardest cult to join?
Do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?
This is how you make neon geen.
Justice is a dish best served cold...
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
What is the best type of cheese to hide a horse in?
It is rumored that the worst secretaries have typo blood.
To understand this pun you need to know that the book in the first photo is called Apolodor
Our cemetery is really getting crowded.
Seems people are just dyin to get into it.
Why is yoda afraid of 7?
Because six, seven eight.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
